I remember when I was just a cub, maybe 4, not in kindergarden yet and my sister was quite an infant. I used to get scolded because I would wash her hair with bar soap while she was in her little infant tub in the the big tub. Though I also remember vividly, a few days prior to the Blizzard of '77, seeing my mother in the hospital. She was in her pink robe from home and I met my sister. I remember to this day being very upset she was coming home with us! Now estranged, we were always very close--we had to be.
It was also this age I had a Mickey Mouse watch. It had a red face, yellow band and Mickey's little feet would move as a second hand. I spent much time lying on a braided rug in our living room just watching his feet move. I especially did so when my parents would fight. I must have still been left handed because my watch, until late elementary school was always on my right hand. It was when a teacher pointed out if you are right handed (family 'fixed') your watch goes on the left.
At those times watching Mickey's feet I would sometimes go to the phone and dial the operator. That is when there were operators to 'talk to' and boy did I! I did get in some trouble when they would call back and my parents would know I called. Who knows what I was saying but I sure know I wasn't supposed to. I chuckle now. My mother always telling us, me especially; "your mouth runs faster than a whippoorwills ass." My sister and I never knew what the hell she was talking about or even what that meant. But we used to mock it often. Also getting scolded for "laughing like a hyena." We were convinced and I still am, the woman hates happiness and laughter.
I have been told over many years by various Aunts and Uncles about how before my bath I would line my dolls up and say, with stern finger; "and don't you shit your pants." My sister had a stuffed monkey she carted around at about age 3/4 she called Little Bastard. It was his name!! She would get hollered at for saying it. We later in life laughed our asses off over the irony--calling us little bastards really says you don't know who our daddy's are! Though no jest we have always wondered if we are half sisters...regardless I would be pissed if she had a good dad!! You have to have a sense of humor when well just when...
There were so many times at a young age I would try or want to run away. It was all I could do to learn to soothe myself when needed. I had imaginary parents not friends, parents. I would rub my own hair, and talk nice to me. I became attached to my stuffed animals and really believed they had feelings. I never wanted to leave one out. I find sometimes I will see a stuffed toy on the street and almost feel bad for it, like it feels lost and abandoned, yet knowing it does not it is incapable of such. It is a childhood throwback for if just seconds.
I must be feeling nostalgic. I suppose this is enough TMI for this day.
Remember if not one thing--you are never alone. At least that is what I have been told more times than can be counted by various people in and out of life when I was very alone. You may not be able to believe it initially but when you are feeling nostalgic later you will see! Grace and Peace.
