Delight Thyself

He is risen,

He is risen, indeed!

I'm a really simple kind of being; I guess that can be true in the simple minded at times sense as well as the it doesn't take much--grand gestures really aren't needed.  I also am a fan of sharing the simple little things with those whom I love. 

Easter 2012 is one best remembered for transition


                                                                            | -2013
                                                                            |
                                                                            | --2014

Easter 2015 is one best remembered for validation

                                                                            | --2016
                                                                            |
                                                                            | --2017

Easter 2018 is one best remembered for solidification And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

                                                                            |
                                                                            |
                                                                           

7  The law of the Lord is perfect,
    reviving the soul;
the testimony of the Lord is sure,
    making wise the simple;  (Psalm 19:7)

Cause me to hear thy loving kindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.  (Psalm 143:8)

  I have considered my ways and have turned my steps to your statutes.  (Psalm 119:59)

When I consider your heavens,

    the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
    which you have set in place,  (Psalm 8:8)

43 Let the one who is wise heed these things
    and ponder the loving deeds of the Lord.  (Psalm 107:43)

 

He's solid rock under my feet, breathing room for my soul, An impregnable castle: I'm set for life. 

 My help and glory are in God 

 So trust him absolutely, people; lay your lives on the line for him. God is a safe place to be. (Psalm 62:6-8)

I have kept my feet from every evil path so that I might obey your word. 

 I have not departed from your laws, for you yourself have taught me. 

 How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! (Psalm 119:101-103)

 Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with thee.

 For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.

 I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living.  (Psalm 116:7-9)

Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.  (Psalm 37:4)

                                                     

                                                     

Praise The Lord!    

Dear God,

I am so tired of reading/hearing the words "mass shooting."

I am equally tired of hearing "our thoughts and prayers are with those grieving" - I am sorry, it feels inadequate for the TX Church incident--the latest of the recent mass shootings (to the best of my knowledge anyway)...

How do I react to this, well, my nose runs and the tears flow and I pray:  God, what now, how do I (re)act?  Be kinder to those I encounter?  Be more aware of my surroundings?  Be a better listener?  Get my signature on more petitions and proposals? Pass out cards for mental health care?

I don't know but, I start with all of the above. I also start by realizing the best and only way for me to control this situation is not to fear.

Lord, as I move through my days here on earth, let me do so with the confidence that wherever my days may lead me, whomever my days may lead me to and however my days may unfold, You are there. May I encounter all knowing and trusting; 

"these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love"  -1 Corinthians 13:13.  Amen.

Get Over Ourselves

It is as if He (THE Prince of Peace) takes a back burner, when really we need to stress more and more the power of faith, hope, love and prayer in lieu of frustration, negativity and fear. 

What I see with my own life is that prayer works better than anything I can try to gain control of--especially when reality often is-it is out of my control.

What I can do is MY part peacefully, hopefully and faithfully. And when overwhelmed by the vile seeds being tossed for planting in this place, turn to those of loving nature, turn within, turn away from those who are temporarily lost.

If we are to be one fairly positive functioning unit we must set ego aside. Just as charity begins at home, (you aren't much good to others if you aren't tending home), so is working for the "Common Good" of all. 

*Regardless of religious denomination and or affiliation, individually we have what it takes for peace on earth, even in storms, when we unmask ourselves to ourselves!

insurance (ɪnˈʃʊərəns; -ˈʃɔː-)
n
1. (Insurance)
a. the act, system, or business of providing financial protection for property, life, health, etc, against specified contingencies, such as death, loss, or damage, and involving payment of regular premiums in return for a policy guaranteeing such protection
b. the state of having such protection
c. Also called: insurance policy the policy providing such protection
d. the pecuniary amount of such protection
e. the premium payable in return for such protection
f. (as modifier): insurance agent; insurance broker; insurance company.
2. a means of protecting or safeguarding against risk or injury.

**This is an internet photo, I do not own this photo.

ME

Crucified and risen with Him, once again--

I am feeling compelled to say/clarify that I am really of no real gender in this temporary place. The vehicle given to me is that of a woman, "she." For a better understanding, as I have felt it since about six, yes 6 years old: There is a reason I am missing my penis! Society telling me I am a little girl so you like little boys--okay, nope, that doesn't work. Society telling me you are a lesbian so you like not just women but lesbian women--nope, that doesn't work. Society telling me you are transgendered so you like straight women--nope, that doesn't work. Society telling me (or a person I knew in the 90's) maybe you're a gay man--nope, I am sure that won't work.

How about I am myself and what I do or don't do, have or lack is between me and God, often the thoughts I have.

Let me tell you what I actually know and knew all growing up;
I will never marry. I am not like other folks who are wired for earthly formalities. I have the soul of a man and a poet no less, almost Sage like--yes Sage. Neither here nor there, moving on: I was born a EUNUCH if a label helps.
(However, I did fulfill the "procreate purpose" in 1993)

I was born and named Michelle Lynn Albee and within a few months of birth named Tiger, Tie for short. Except my Grandma Albee spelled it Tyger and I always liked it best that way but my mom hated she did that. Until 3rd grade teachers called me "Tiger" then I was told I had to use my "real name" as others made that call for me, "real."

The real of it is for me, until I am made aware of my body I don't see myself gendered…buying bras--that's an awareness, PMS an awareness, you get the picture wink emoticonI am not in search of my body so to speak, I have one here, it is what it is and as you see it. Now, my eternal life I already see and know that body that is how and why I am comfortable just being me…

I have no desire what so ever in "changing" anything or fit a "label" or "conform" to anything.
In the early 1990's and mid 1990's two of my 3 'serious' (attempts at) relationships with (straight) women brought me home books on sex change. That was the terminology then. I read and pondered to come back to it would ultimately be so that others saw what I already did and do. I am created in God's image, I see what He does who cares if others don't. I married God; vowed, faithful, commitment.

The moral of this story is I wear what I like, hair what I like and do as I do because that is me, not to be or become, fit into or be seen as; "X" "Y" or "Z."

My "real" label I had stamped on my neck in 2009 for if and when I NEED one: MLA

I am here for purposes and my purposes need no gender identity. What people use, she, he, it, hey you, crazy, I don't really care, honest. I understand we live in a place where we need pronouns and labels to make our way but please know I personally don't live them nor am defined by them.

In transition: to see and be what He, the Risen Christ, shows me and leads me…
                                                                        ME

 smile emoticon

It IS and It Is Good!!

Several weeks back I was sharing with one of our pastors how awe striking this method is:  (see Richard Rohr's daily meditation for today:  https://cac.org/the-magic-and-mystery-of-intimacy-2016-03-01/ )

What I find so engulfing is noting more and more the cross-references of prophecies and the whole God’s predestination of those in the Bible. Right from the beginning, God letting Adam know--no worries, though by the way this isn't going to be pretty in the meantime, but, the seed of the woman (Christ) will redeem. Stepping on the snakes head (destroying Satan/sin) though his fangs will bruise Christ's heel by way of his sufferings.

Noting more and more the importance of the Law (Mosaic) for Israel, as well as during Christ's ministry here. And noting bigger picture, so to speak.

How key the Abrahamic covenant is to understanding the Gospel.

All so comforting, like when I feel like Thomas, noting and new sight just pushes that all away—like being told myself; see, touch!

How even in Luke, Jesus tells of his own death but the 12 just can't comprehend this, because well, no mention of grace yet, Christ hadn't died.

Seeing God's transcendence in all of that and more!

I'd told this same pastor several years back in response to a question: "I cannot not follow Christ!" follow up question was "can you say more about that?" "No, I cannot, there is nothing more to say!!"

Just as now, I cannot not see God everywhere. I cannot not feel Christ living. I cannot not get swept up in the Holy Spirit within and among...

The only "more" I can say about this is; it is an experience, a lifestyle, a Love story of sorts and why would I want to try and overthink it?! It IS and it is good! 

heart emoticon

Rejoice! Rejoice!!

"Jesus took Peter, John and James and went up the mountain to pray. Can you follow Jesus and go up on the mountain and pray? Can you carve out time time to listen and share with him the joys and sorrow of your daily life? On this Second Sunday of Lent be open and allow God the opportunity to speak to your heart. Let yourself experience God's transforming love."  (Taken from the 'Mercy Spirituality Center' Facebook Page; https://www.facebook.com/Mercy-Spirituality-Center-358657827490413/?pnref=story)

I had quite an Epiphany yesterday, (both services, different bits and pieces), being these very questions have been prayerfully and contemplatively working within and among me. I have experienced a full fledged "whew, thank you, Lord, you DO hear my prayers."

1st, randomly opening to hymn #268--feeling the "what I am called to do" type feeling with regard to wars, trials and lack of peace--be absorbed in prayer & praise! Alleluia, Amen. The way to peace = prayer and praise, that's the "how."

2nd, "silence in us any voice but Your own" became vivid and starkly "real!"--(meditate)

* I shall not give up and allow threat to scare me...like the hen and her brood. (paraphrased from the sermon)
* "Join in Jesus' lament for the city" (from sermon)
and all peoples;
*look around "these are your people!" (taken from a past time with the children. Martha explaining how in the south 'who are your people' means what family are you from, etc.)
* "Blow Your trumpet, lift up the oppressed!" (from the prayer of the people)
* Awaken us for the ways we become connected to each other. (paraphrased from the prayer of the people)
* "be transformed!" (not sure if sermon or prayer of the people)

I went in open, more open than I normally head into church wanting and needing God to speak to my heart. I revel in joy within for I am "growing up..." (see Richard Rohr's daily meditation for todayhttps://cac.org/three-steps-forward-two-steps-backward-2016-02-22/)
Deeply meditative and I heard NOT John, NOT Martha, NOT anyone but God! How do I know??? Because only I know what I pray and the Lord God himself...I was heard and answered!!!

* "Go in to go out"--woke to those words from a dream on 12/28/2015

For I am not on a wilderness walk! I am on hiking the mountainous range!!!

Thanks be to God, Amen. Thanks be to Jesus, my best friend, thanks be to the Holy Spirit within and among me. Thanks be Holy Trinity.

"Rejoice, Rejoice, Emmanuel shall come to thee oh Israel!!" (ear-wormed in my head and heart)

Happy Ash Wednesday

There is evil in God's house
seemingly at every channel turn
seen numbingly
subtly
evil is evil because it is very convincing

I am just like you
no better
no worse
God fearing
God loving
full of sin
whole heartedly repenting
repeatedly
saved
through Christ

day by day
praying

Lord, deliver me from evil
I'm tired of all the bullshit
I'm tired of all the lies
I am totally unsure
unto which whom I can confide

I deliver to Your presence
my heart,
wash it clean
so I may start new again

open my eyes so I may see
signs of truth
of You

everywhere
in every way
You shall humbly utilize me

Amen.

*We Are Who We Are, by Little Mix in my little ears!

I AM f*****g weird!

I AM f*****g weird.  And I love my little weirdo ass.

I'm not very traditional by today's standards.   I AM socially awkward.   I AM kinda creepy, though a harmless creepy. I AM often misunderstood, with good reasons; what one heard or read is indeed messed-up, however, like a word with two meanings; that's SO not the meaning I meant. 

I grow so tired of social networking sites...due to lack of authenticity.  Don't get me wrong I struggle, superficial is pretty deep for me though I do strive for one on one genuine sharing.

I really love this time of year.  Not based on fond childhood memories or wishful thinking.  Just so wonderful the whole Thanksgiving-which I spent comfortably alone yet, not feeling at all alone due to overwhelming gratitude and presence.

Now Advent has begun, I feel so PJ's cozy everywhere I am.  It's a time to die all over again and welcome The Christ born anew, within...

If you could see the visions and images in my head these feelings and times create I am fairly certain it would warm your heart like a homemade mug of hot cocoa with little marshmallows.  While your soul tucked in, all comfy, with your favorite blanket.

May you all find and embrace your "weird."  Forget what is societal.  Prepare your heart by being true to it.

Advent blessings...

Right There

The eyes may be the windows to the soul

don't get me wrong,

I agree

however you want to feel it



Tangible.



What you long for

search for

here

there

everywhere

all the right wrong places



Breastplate.



It exudes

illumines

warmth so grand

you can be thousands of miles

physically away

yet that sucker

is

right there--



Divinity.




*Team by Lorde  in the ears during this "composition."

Won't You Join Me???

What are we called to do?

A question we ask ourselves.

A question we ask each other.

A question we impose upon one another.



I have run the gamut

while chasing my tail

far more years than I care to admit over-thinking this.

Until,

one day during the second service I attend

there was a tap on my right shoulder,

no one there.

To be repeated accompanied by a sweet, matter of fact

whisper;

"You are not here for you.  You are here for Me."



Though this type of Divine encounter is not a brand new happening

it did however radically alter the "called to do" for me.

From this Blessed experience was born:

If Jesus himself were standing 

right here

right now

instead of me--

How would He proceed???



The simplicity of this reality was dumbfounding--

With His ears.



This is my story

and

I am not only sticking to it ;)

additionally

I am doing my damnedest to live it.



Won't you join me...

Wednesday Thoughts and Prayers

Environment [negative or positive]

may impact parts of ourselves

becoming a product of it

is however

a choice...

Wednesday thoughts and prayers!

Relax--Recoup, Retool, Regroup

You wake me,

won't go away,

until

you get your way.

Grumble-some

my feet hit the floor,

same as days before;

As I caffinate

and vittle-fill your dish,

you, now fast asleep

where I once

comfortably slept! 

:)

#selfishtwit

Thanksgiving

As Thanksgiving approaches, I often find myself in a more contemplative state of mindfulness.  

Much of my own Thanksgiving is the shared by others; blessings, changes, grateful fors, new founds, etc. of which they celebrate and embrace.  It is most refreshing to see and hear others testimonials as well as accomplishments.  In addition to how others live Thanksgiving.  

I continue to look forward to all of yours in addition to those whose paths cross mine day to day...

I am Thankful.

The philosophical Tyger LOL

We all have "stuff" sometimes "tough stuff" enter our lives.

I find when I draw my attention to all else in my life and jaw not about the "tough stuff" & focus on the here and now, wherever I may be that is literally here and now...I'm in peace. I feel God along side in everything, allowing me to stay 'out of the way' as the good blessings unravel the "tough" the way only Christ can...

THE moment I am in is THE moment I am supposed to be in--over and over and over. Stay present. Stay open. Stay aware of blessings when trials arise...
Stay above yet not oblivious!

A Sheep's Rule of Thumb

It's not about WHAT you do...

"But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret.  And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."
Mathew 6:3-4

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus Christ."
Philippians 4:7

1 SOLID YEAR SOBER!

08/31/13 Last drink drunk.

T.G.I.F.

Lasting Happiness

The real reason why we sometimes experience a lack of real, deep lasting happiness in our lives is dependency. We are taught to make our happiness dependent on some event, condition, person, object etc. This is why we keep delaying our happiness until things are just right in our life. We think we will be happy in the future and then wonder why we are not happy now. But life is never just right, and the future never comes – there is only now! And that's why, in order to be happy we must make our happiness a decision and not a dependency. This may seem slightly difficult in the beginning, because we have just spent our life being dependent on acquiring something or someone, or seeing the result we desired, or wanting some pain to go away, before we allow ourselves to be happy-- www.thoughtfortoday.org.uk

Exactly right--
RE: www.thoughtfortoday.org.uk

For myself, it was around 2005 this concept actually set in and made sense.  I spent sooooo much time in my late teens & complete twenties 'not wanting to be alone' (that meant unhappy) therefore, falling into the dependancy trap.  Whether it be relationships, things and or a bottle. 

Real happiness is not found via others, acquisitions or self medication...

T.G.I.F. Amen!

Living it!

"And I set before the sons of the house of the Rechabites pots full or wine, and cups, and I said unto them, Drink ye wine.
But they said, We will drink no wine:  for Jonadab the son of Rechab our father comanded us, saying, Ye shall drink no wine, neither ye, nor your sons forever:
Neither shall ye build a house, nor sow seed, nor plant vineyard, nor have any: but all your days ye shall dwell in tents: that ye may live many days in the land where ye be strangers."
Jeremiah 35:5-7.  Amen.

Sober almost a year now.
Cig-free 5 months now.
Caffine free several days now...

Still eating clean,
working out,
down in fat (not fluff-free hee hee)
up in muscle and endurance.

Physically healthy,
mentally sound,

Spiritually heightened and enlightened...

Transforming and growing every day;
Thanks be to God for it all!

41 and living it ♡♥♡

TBT...

The word of the Lord came to me:  Mortal prophecy against the shepards of Israel: prophecy and say to them--the shepards:  Thus says the Lord God:  Ah you shepards of Israel who have been feeding yourselves!
You eat the fat, you clothe yourselves with the wool, you slaughter the fatlings; but you do not feed the sheep.

Ezekiel 34:1-3

*  There have actually been words heard such as thankfulness for not being a sheep but rather a shepard.  I tell you I'd rather be a sheep for God is our Shepard...

Thus says the Lord God, I am against the shepards; and I will demand my sheep at their hand, and put a stop to their feeding the sheep; no longer will the shepards feed themselves.
I will rescue my sheep from their mouths, so that they may not be food for them.

Ezekiel 34:10

But what as it is written,
"What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the human heart conceived,  what God has prepared for those who love him"--

1 Corinthians 2:9

And we speak of these things in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the spirit, interpreting spiritual things to those who are spiritual.

1 Corinthians 2:13

Love does no wrong to a neighbor;  therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law.

Romans 13:8

*  I bear true witness as a sheep of my Lord God...
GOD guides, provides and protects.  The best most intimate relationship one will ever have!

Hebrew Text

The mountains do not witness to him,
nor do the hills proclaim;
The trees have cherished my words
and the flocks
my works.

For who can proclaim
and who
can bespeak
and who can recount the deeds of the Lord?

Everything has God seen,
everything
has he heard and heeded.

He sent his prophet to anoint me,
Samuel to make me great;
My brothers went out to meet him,
handsome of figure and appearance.

Though they were tall of stature
and handsome by their hair,
the Lord God
chose them not.

But he sent and took me from behind the flock
and anointed me
with holy oil.

And made me leader of his people
and ruler over the people of his covenant.

Simply beautiful!  Psalm 151