Live Lovingly

One day, when time and space matter not;

I know it is your heart

meant to beat

with mine...

Continuing w/ Weekend Mantras

I have felt exhausted the last several days, yet still pondering a few things...



On Tuesday, the 24th, I felt moved to "try something":

Today I will be attempting to mindfully focus on the negatives...
Journaling my feelings, thoughts, etc and photos (where applicable).
I feel this may benefit my Lenten journey in many multilayered ways!

Wednesday, the 25th:

I will continue this practice [attempting to mindfully focus on the negatives] for a bit--I must confess it was an extremely positive day yesterday. From seeing a good friend, gathering some connecting info for another, text 'banter' with a few and being kindly noticed, greeted and updated by a prior RAIHN guest and their amazing happenings...never-the-less, one thing I did notice in trying to focus toward the not so goods was a feeling of unnatural for me. 
I found it easier to look to find fault with myself than anywhere or anyone else... interesting!

Later that evening attending the "Living Waters Wednesday" service and getting so lost in the lightness I felt.  So calm, peaceful; sax, guitar and piano singing hymns--gave me tingles up my spine and head.  So just one with the Holy Spirit that the trance type feelings I often experience were amplified to the point of it was just God and I there.  

It was/is very telling to me that I am beyond trying to focus unnaturally.  

Not to say I don't see or feel negatives ever, or am never negative, rather a noticing I did find a fault within myself...a positive fault...GROWTH!

The popping for me all week, from our Thursday noon group Lenten readings:

-After...disciples remembered...they believed...  taken from John 2:22
-...did not understand...at first...then they remembered...  taken from John 12:16

So, my brief "left with"

Twenty-twenty hindsight can be the most wonderful "Blessons"  Amen!

Gnawing and Flow Charting

Gnawing and Flow Charting

AKA:  Weekend Mantra...

Q.  "How can a [young] person stay on the path of purity?  By living according to your word."  Psalm 119:9

"Then a voice came from heaven, 'I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.'"  John 12:28 -->  "This voice has come for YOUR SAKE, not mine."  John 12:30 -->

"Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place."  Psalm 51:6  -->

"Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."  Psalm 51:12  --->

"I will put my law in their mind and write it on their hearts."  Jeremiah 31:33 --->



A.   "I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word."  Psalm 119:16

"Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him"  Hebrews 5:8-9


My personal "left with" is simply put:

Peace and love are pure or purity.
I prayed for restoration--wanting to live according to the word;
obedience is a "delight in!"

Gangsta--Not

Brand fuckin' new
straight up outta the box
never felt like this
I'm not bullshitting
couldn't even if I wanted to
you'd see right through...

Tuned in
hearing what's unsaid
deciphering
weirdo quirks
twitches and twirks
I've spent years
masking
for societal reasons...

Just doing what you do
V.I.P.
I wouldn't have it any other way

loving it...


*pretty gangsta-thug huh, lol

Deprive vs. Sacrifice...settle down

Walking fine lines
Deprive
vs.
Sacrifice

I believe these two words get confused
as well as,
a raw deal at times.

Basic definitions:
Deprive-  prevent (a person or place) from having or using something.
Sacrifice-  an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy.

For myself the thought of either word,
at one time,
meant the same thing:
NO.  NO.

Even being of deep faith
NO.  NO.
brought forth feelings of:
punishment
falsity
exclusion
not fair.

Why not!?

But--this isn't a bad thing!

Okay. It's not good for me, however

everyone else is and it's okay!?.

It wasn't until the Holy Spirit moved me to seek and let go
I began to
understand
comprehend
settle down.

There are things that are not beneficial for us,
with good reason.
Also things that would be wonderful in the here and now,
of course.
Perhaps far more beneficial in another time, place and space.

For me, God's promises and my own living it
transforms the "sacrificing/depriving."

Not a worth it--a loving it
on earth
as it is in heaven!



"Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit."
Ecclesiastes 7:8

Right There

The eyes may be the windows to the soul

don't get me wrong,

I agree

however you want to feel it



Tangible.



What you long for

search for

here

there

everywhere

all the right wrong places



Breastplate.



It exudes

illumines

warmth so grand

you can be thousands of miles

physically away

yet that sucker

is

right there--



Divinity.




*Team by Lorde  in the ears during this "composition."

Won't You Join Me???

What are we called to do?

A question we ask ourselves.

A question we ask each other.

A question we impose upon one another.



I have run the gamut

while chasing my tail

far more years than I care to admit over-thinking this.

Until,

one day during the second service I attend

there was a tap on my right shoulder,

no one there.

To be repeated accompanied by a sweet, matter of fact

whisper;

"You are not here for you.  You are here for Me."



Though this type of Divine encounter is not a brand new happening

it did however radically alter the "called to do" for me.

From this Blessed experience was born:

If Jesus himself were standing 

right here

right now

instead of me--

How would He proceed???



The simplicity of this reality was dumbfounding--

With His ears.



This is my story

and

I am not only sticking to it ;)

additionally

I am doing my damnedest to live it.



Won't you join me...

Random Thoughts

Random thoughts brought on by TV!!

Okay some mom petitions Toys R Us over Breaking Bad action figures.  Seems another example of limited freedoms, it worked.  
If YOU don't like something don't buy it nor allow it in YOUR home...

Sex.  I don't get, never have to be very honest, why that is a pursuit to happiness or unhappiness.  Folks seem very promiscuous even married folks--why?  I am not virginal by any means or shooting for hypocritical. For self, I no longer require or desire that, I was always honest; not the be all end all nor make or break.  Not "normal" for even back in the day--perhaps why 2 outta 3 were not monogamous?  There is so much more, worthy more than to put all stock in the laid basket. 
Oneness and love are not bound by physical acts.  Both can be shared and achieved many, many ways--worth far more than a single act of short term fornication.  The main difference seems simple--Divine vs. Earthly...
So much time it seems people focus on partner, sex, etc.  Perhaps it appears hypocritical being I found part of this at 15 and live what feels so much more happily and free since I recognized this at 29. 

Which brings me to marriage.  Why do some folks take that huge step, only to then mistreat and run around on their spouse?  Why not just leave?  Why marry at all?  Is it now more of a "got ya locked" as opposed to a sacred promise to love, honor, encourage--want only the best for and of one another in all aspects?  It seems this area has always baffled me..seems more lock in vs. freedom. 

Sometimes I just feel so before and beyond these times,
all at the same time...