"Be Still"

"Compassion Fatigue"

As I've been resting and tending myself, I realize many things...I feel the biggest or the one most come 

back to in many things is;  "be still and know that I am God."  

Be still in speech sometimes - I am feeling is probably the most peace we can not only use BUT offer. 

(really not all that Prophetic more Proverbial)

Sometimes things said could be better stated by just being still with them...

Freedom of speech is an earthy right,

Freedom to choose fool or wise is Heavenly!

Everything is a carrier of Peace ...

Be still and know that I am God = Be still and know I am Peace.  Peace = Love.  I am Love.

Love is kind and gentle.  Love does not envy or boast.  

More Love shall ripple into this New Year now that Peace has been birthed - Christ the Savior is born!

And yes, being still and yes, knowing God is God is really, with minimal effort on my part, helping me not 

only rest and recover, though greater than that actually 'feel' and 'live' that very Stillness, that very 

Love, that is our God.

Holy God, as we enter into another new year may we reevaluate the importance of "be still" in more than 

just action...Amen!

Peace is~

Peace is~
The tingling, warm feelings in my chest

like at any given moment my heart will burst out from within.

Peace is~
Fighting to keep my eyes open, when I am not even tired

with every eyelid flutter more soothing than the other.

Peace is~
No matter time or place, the you-ness of you existing comfortably, almost weightlessly

aware, yet, without a worry or care.

‪#‎Peace‬

Hope

Bursts of beauty, from within

Alabaster glowing, radiance

Voice of an angel, taking flight

Unto the darkness, of my mind

Flickering Advent fantasies

Come Beloved, I welcome thee

As the warmth consumes me...

Hope

Upside Down

What a blessing I have come to find

Once flustered
And to be quite frank
Really pissed
More often than not

Cursing, why me,
Consumed by anger and envy
Like I was indeed "owed" better than the hand I'd been dealt;

What kind of God are you anyway
At every turn jerking my chain
How dare you!
I deserve more!
Now my whole life is screwed
I'll never be happy
I'll never have what I want
One tack at a time
Nailing my coffin closed

Screaming, "I give up!"
Hard enough
The blood vessel in my eye popped...

What a blessing I have come to find

Granted a fulfilling life's career
Empathy and time
I would've no other way
been able to know!

Gratitude

For the handful of folks who've always encouraged my outside of the box thoughts and life; Spirituality.



I am a (positive) deviant of religious conformity and societal norms.  I am deeply Spiritual which for me is a deep connection to the Holy Spirit.  My life is based on deepening what that is, can be and will become.  Allowing the Spirit to guide and my always learning to listen and implement.



I recall as young as four knowing the Angels and knowing God was with me and feeling sad for Jesus.  My grandparents had Christ on the cross that hung in the house.  I recall even then in the worst of times being comforted from beyond this place (There was no comfort growing up within this place).



In my late teens and twenties pushed all that aside; doubtful to conformity.  After 2003 I lost all earthly gains including my thoughts and mind...I again opened my heart to what I "just knew" as a child.  Go with all that is, He is there even in "absence."  Trust the process:  Christ came and lived, Christ was crucified and died, Christ rose and lives endlessly.  Through this Jesus Christ, I have come to trust what some raise a brow in uncertainty - He is alive and within me.  Let my focus be on my relationship with the burning fire of the Holy Ghost within!



Grateful for my place at His table everyday.  Grateful for being guided and provided for, Lord knows I am not worthy, yet, He is okay with that and helps me lean on Him and learn from all things, deepening my ties that bind us.

Escape

imaginative fantasy; 
creative, playful
brightly colored
outside of the lines
whimsically 


furl a brow


save it for the big screen
top the box office on Christmas day


leisurely outlets;
bold, brazen
multidemensional 
stark cases of reality
with a twist
Hollywood style


escape

Deja Vu

Can't shake this deja vu

the world has come and gone

a trillion times 

hard to explain,

one of those videos

you are standing still 

only the backdrops and your clothes

change repetitively 

you remain - unchanged...

Periodic flashes 

faces

properties

road

even a tree,

same thing - unchanged

Peaceful in every event

A handsome man

staring me back in the mirror

since the early 1990's

With a chuckle, I'd always say "better with a goatee?"

Who is this handsome stranger to my left?

Plays piano beautifully

as I (?) turn his pages lovingly...

Presence still creeps up on me 

around the Memorial Art Gallery...

Who's Jimmy?

Can't shake this deja vu

the world has come and gone

a trillion times...

Dear God,

"He maketh me to lie down in green pastures" 


Back and forth
rip, shred and split, rabid jackal style
hopelessness; word of the day, new novelty
try to escape it
let go, let God -- insert eyebrows raising...

"He leadeth me beside the still waters"

Perhaps, throwing my hands in the air, stationary,
stagnant world
as not to be consumed 
tread water

What I am to do...

I am powerless.
I believe only God can and will redeem.
I give myself over to God and God's will...

"He restoreth my soul"



#asheepsruleofthumb

How Bright It Is

There are times of trial
Of course,
There is the pouring
And pounding of the rain
Days of stress and anxiety

How I do recall
The what was of it all
When it seemed to almost consume;

Placing my own hands over the spaces
Of light illuminating
More fear of what brightness may bring
Eyes so adjusted to the pitch black
The thought of anything outside
Causing a (knee) jerk response...

Not all long ago,
Though I hold it close,
Intentionally,
That which once was
Brings forth feelings of:

Gratefulness,
Warmth,
Empathy,
Compassion
and
Love...
   
     Freeing up my hands
          To hug...

Tornado of The Soul

essence riveting 
depth of depths
so immense
aesthetically pleasing
expansile breath
dropped to my knees 
intoxicating

only known with thee
seen not seemingly
your presence enticing 
silence, softly spoken
alone, comfortably accompanied 

keyed to the lock
prayerfully 
lovingly tucked in 
abiding within the tender eye...

dust engulfed
onlookers, passersby
profess: 
head in the clouds
foolishness
loss of reality...

     tornado of the soul

BuilD UP; words

If you ever wondered, I do have one of those creepy memories. (words to images, very precise, triggered by key things sending me rifling through what I call the file cabinet in my head for the pic which tells the 'story')
I also, have a tendency okay more automatic habit of jotting during worship. It's part of worship for me.
I also have a habit of saving & logging things, though not at all to a pack-rat degree or style. For future draw-upon; "oh wait, I know, hold on!" So, yawn--enough about me!

Perhaps it is the Pope's arrival and how I admire much of what he says and how he is trying best a Pope can, I suppose, to be as common as the most common of folk. Also taking a lot of flack for not wearing red shoes, (and who would, that is so been to Oz done that), and not being carted about in the pimp mobile, oops, Pope mobile wink emoticon That brought my thoughts to 08/09/15. I saw outside the Strathallen that morning a Dalai Lama look a like and a few of his peeps and shared a warm hello kinda hoping he would cross the street and join us, then thinking should I have asked?

The second pic was jotted as John preached, "Power of Words."
I admit my handwriting is much to be admired though should be legible. (and yes, I pride myself in admitting, I am a piss-poor speller!) I have taken a few hits this Summer and was feeling a bit angry but that turned around during this service:

Use words that BUILD UP
That IS a job we have regardless of the outcome...

Unite In Love

A conversation with a friend-

"What can we, people like you and me, do to help all the violence going on right now?"
Of course, like most people feeling helpless and yes some frustration.

(I personally take offense to being lumped into some privileged category. I also tire of it being forgotten there is but ONE RACE and I feel we should stop the labels and tags and moving forward be ONE RACE. Stop the blame unite in love)

My reply;  "well, I guess the best thing we can, you and me, do is to not be part of the problem."

My reply to the churches are being said not to be doing enough;
"All church doors are open. All are welcome. No fee is required to enter."

My reply to a few other varied things;

"Change yes, begins with oneself - no one can change another. Best we can do is set a good example and pray."

"Christ has to be met where one themselves meets Him to know Him."

In our convo a how would a million dollars help and where would it best be utilized...

My reply; "throwing dollar upon dollar at problems is a bandaid on a broken arm. One of our shootings was at a boys and girls club, so money is not the number one need. Always a first thought though if you think about it." 

Peace cannot be $paid.00 for - Christ already did that!

Presumably So

Does anyone ever wonder what toll is taken on one to be so resilient?

Does anyone ever wonder does one so resilient cry themselves to sleep?

Does anyone ever wonder what one so resilient wonders?

Does anyone ever wonder how far is too far before one so resilient can no longer recoil?

Does anyone ever wonder 

or 

just presume?

Spiritual Obesity

Obesity has made all kinds of headlines whether they are public or private.  However, the obesity I am talking about is--Spiritual Obesity.


Weighed down, hard to move about without some discomfort - struggles only the one actually living Spiritually obese truly feels.


I had been feeling so Spiritually obese recently that I just kept in prayer...contemplative prayer:

Among the things I realised is it was my 'diet'!  My tastes have continued to change, more and more toward healthier choices.  Those whom walk unsavory paths leave a long after bitter taste.  Those I take with a grain of salt are well, too salty and 'water weight.'  
I guess I am seeing where a lot of my 'empty calories' come from.

I continued changing my 'diet' and praying.  Among the questions that came to me was:

"Which bread shall you eat of?"
There are a lot more pages filled and post-it notes than I have shared here though, when I take my place at the table of life here everyday, I will silently chew on the bread of Life as I ponder the 'menu' options...

I will share, I am 'exercising' in addition to thinking about what I ingest!
(Let me not forget the 'intolerance's and allergies' that don't set well)





"Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit..."

CHRISTmas Everyday

Christmas Everyday                              

                   

People fear love,
people don't fear sex as much,
people fear, love.
Especially God's Love
manifested humanly.

     Christ the Flow

Moving us into communities of God's Love;

stirs up heart and soulful things
not groin and loin--
tingling from head to feet
in this place
filled with You.

It is about Love:

Human
Transient
Temporary

     Christ the Bridge                                                          

Spiritual
Everlasting
Permanent


     Christ the Messiah

Keeping us close;

sharing on another level,
quiet and service and gratitude--
purest of pure, truest of true,
love,

God's Love, Christmas everyday.

#TechDownTuesday

I don't know if any pay mind to my, most often in Advent and Lent, "Try something new."
I am going to try something old--no, I am not trying to bring my hair color back hahahha

I am implementing a ‪#‎TechDownTuesday‬ for myself.
Old school. Nothing outside of phone usage, technology wise, old school phone usage; Dial and Talk! (leave it home)

Use of paper and pen, use of books vs internet, limiting the TV and go outside and "play." I feel as I get older I am realising (yes, always the UK 's' it isn't a misspell) that I allowed mainstream society to side track me.

As a child, and not having anything remotely close to a "Cleaver" household, I still was able to focus above and connect so deeply with God and God's creations--including myself!! I had a flash this morning of many actual instances, hence my; HEY! I have free will! smile emoticon

I am starting with Tuesday being I partake in the 9:15 am 30 minute'ish morning prayer at church--I can say for me, that is so elemental.‪#‎asheepsruleofthumb‬ if you will wink emoticon

MY CALL

Discomfort
Unnerve
Rattle


Shame?


Jump back
Ten feet for every square inch
shared
Pointing fingers
Deer in the headlights
Projecting blame


Scared?


Pure as can be
Want of nothing
Tangible
On earth as it is in Heaven


Misconstrued
Misconceptions
Conceptual Overload--


Busting at the seams, overflowing
Consuming
God's love
manifesting--


Abnormality!

Not Really All That Prophetic

Until I realised what seems meant by the words I heard; (see "Won't You Join Me")

"You are not here for you. You are here for Me." 

I still struggled with the state(S) of transient. (and will again!)

* I am not claiming to fully understand!
Though, I am here for God's purpose--Christ's work.

* I am deeply Spiritual and look forward to all that is and is to come from there.

* I am not a sexual being. 

* I am using/maintaining the "vehicle" given to me as Christ's hands and feet and everything in between in the best ways I know how.

* I am provided for and guided in ways that are far from just material.

* I am a believer. 

Christ came.  Christ died.  Christ rose.

* I am here to absorb what Christ needs me to. I am here to witness and share and testify. 
Not to fix, get side tracked or judge.

* I am here for You--
My life is healthy, happy and rich.  

 * I am HIS!!!  — feeling connected. 

Anyone who is in Christ is a new creation.

New Life is ours, even beginning in the 'here' just allow it.

"Just settle in"

Amen.

Keeping It Real

There will be times in our life,

Someone we knows life,

Or someone of someone we knows life-

Where people who are supposed to:

Serve,
Protect,
Guide,
Nurture,
Love..
Fail greatly, rather,

Harm, exploit, act maliciously, even selfishly...

As disheartening, disappointing or downright devastating as it may feel;

Hands tied...

"You must decide which ties to make and which to break" -David Reagan

— feeling Keeping It Real.

God's Greatest Gift

One of God's greatest gifts--

FRIENDSHIP.

Plain and simple, pure and true.


All types of friendships;

Colleagues, associates, neighbors and peeps...

Acquaintances, confidants, reflective and sweet...


New friendships and age old friendships--

Sometimes overlooked, taken for granted...


Plain and simple, pure and true.

FRIENDSHIP--

One of God's greatest gifts.


Thanks and Praise...

                                                                    Perfectly Imperfect

Waste Management

Hypocritical nonsense, we're all exposed to it
predominantly seen around election times
let us not down play the day-to-day
shake your head
can't even believe people missed that!

One thing I will pimp with five stars
with regard to those I grew up with
my life subjected to:

Narcissistic reality.
Blatant lies.
Twist it this way and that.
Two-step around every question.
Smoke and mirror
illusive distractions.

The break the glass
in case of a
close to being exposed
emergency pull--

bore two little scapegoats...

you know the saying; "You can't bullshit a bullshitter"


A better saying would be;

"You can't bullshit those who've waded in and trained in waste management!"

                                          *This is not my image, it is a downloaded image*

Untitled

So much in the world, our own lives, each others lives...

Who could possibly be left unscathed? At least to some degree??

Listening and doing what one can within arms reach is very beneficial, no doubt.

New life comes from each wound bandaged, scabs do not always leave scars--amusing tales to tell or ones we keep to ourselves...

Either way at the end of the day who could possible be left unscathed???

Someday

My bad; *you're*

Someday

hand held
hand to hold

individuality and togetherness

shared time and space
comfortable silence

genuine hug, shoulder to rest upon,
when head gets loud
and the world becomes overwhelming

without complication and suffocation

#thelastshallbefirst
A freehugbot will do.

May Is Mental Health Awareness Month

Shutter Release

Looking through the lens
Without a worry or care


Mesmerizing


Hypnotic


Caught timelessly

Beauties reality

Seemingly so transparent

Until

Looking through the lens
Shutter release...

Thursday's Chew-Bit

One of the most attractive things about living simply, modestly and minimally is being uncomplicated.

Anyone who has known me in past lives to knowing me presently I am confident could attest that minimal comfort is how I thrive and grow and think and behave at my best.  I am not just talking material minimal comfort either; Spiritually and mentally and physically.

My Achilles heel, over-thinking, complicating my being creating things.

So hyperaware to the viscous circle of complication seen nearly everywhere, self included, often out of my mouth or in my head; "I/some folks waste so much time trying to complicate things."  It is almost as if it is easier to create things anxiously than to be at peace rationally.

A world of want what we want when we want it--more and more, faster and faster...

Creating things = convenient
              vs.
Being things = inconvenient

Lacking Fancy

For all I craved, even unbeknownst

you, Lord, have fulfilled and continue to pour over me more than I deserve

gratefully and thankfully and humbly I receive joyfully

You, indeed, hear all spoken and unspoken;


Read my heart always and keep me from selfish ways...

I want nothing more than to live in You

and You in me, always!


Welcoming Your will on earth as it is in heaven

always and everlasting...


Keep watch as I sleep tight

over not only myself but those I love

and those whom are lost...

In Christ's name I pray, always!

Amen.

Continuing w/ Weekend Mantras

I have felt exhausted the last several days, yet still pondering a few things...



On Tuesday, the 24th, I felt moved to "try something":

Today I will be attempting to mindfully focus on the negatives...
Journaling my feelings, thoughts, etc and photos (where applicable).
I feel this may benefit my Lenten journey in many multilayered ways!

Wednesday, the 25th:

I will continue this practice [attempting to mindfully focus on the negatives] for a bit--I must confess it was an extremely positive day yesterday. From seeing a good friend, gathering some connecting info for another, text 'banter' with a few and being kindly noticed, greeted and updated by a prior RAIHN guest and their amazing happenings...never-the-less, one thing I did notice in trying to focus toward the not so goods was a feeling of unnatural for me. 
I found it easier to look to find fault with myself than anywhere or anyone else... interesting!

Later that evening attending the "Living Waters Wednesday" service and getting so lost in the lightness I felt.  So calm, peaceful; sax, guitar and piano singing hymns--gave me tingles up my spine and head.  So just one with the Holy Spirit that the trance type feelings I often experience were amplified to the point of it was just God and I there.  

It was/is very telling to me that I am beyond trying to focus unnaturally.  

Not to say I don't see or feel negatives ever, or am never negative, rather a noticing I did find a fault within myself...a positive fault...GROWTH!

The popping for me all week, from our Thursday noon group Lenten readings:

-After...disciples remembered...they believed...  taken from John 2:22
-...did not understand...at first...then they remembered...  taken from John 12:16

So, my brief "left with"

Twenty-twenty hindsight can be the most wonderful "Blessons"  Amen!

Gnawing and Flow Charting

Gnawing and Flow Charting

AKA:  Weekend Mantra...

Q.  "How can a [young] person stay on the path of purity?  By living according to your word."  Psalm 119:9

"Then a voice came from heaven, 'I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.'"  John 12:28 -->  "This voice has come for YOUR SAKE, not mine."  John 12:30 -->

"Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place."  Psalm 51:6  -->

"Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."  Psalm 51:12  --->

"I will put my law in their mind and write it on their hearts."  Jeremiah 31:33 --->



A.   "I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word."  Psalm 119:16

"Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him"  Hebrews 5:8-9


My personal "left with" is simply put:

Peace and love are pure or purity.
I prayed for restoration--wanting to live according to the word;
obedience is a "delight in!"

Love the Concept!

Let me start by saying:

I follow Spiritual Truths on Twitter and on Facebook; "Leon Brown," I wouldn't do so if I didn't like the quotes, concepts, etc.  If nothing resonated or inspired me, I wouldn't bother.




Love the concept!

For it really isn't about the world's second chance--it is about God's continuing grace; accepting & 

repenting...focusing above and all else secondary. Allowing His will to be done on earth as it is in 

heaven. Then you will be changed (constantly) hence, seeing change(s).