Delight Thyself

He is risen,

He is risen, indeed!

I'm a really simple kind of being; I guess that can be true in the simple minded at times sense as well as the it doesn't take much--grand gestures really aren't needed.  I also am a fan of sharing the simple little things with those whom I love. 

Easter 2012 is one best remembered for transition


                                                                            | -2013
                                                                            |
                                                                            | --2014

Easter 2015 is one best remembered for validation

                                                                            | --2016
                                                                            |
                                                                            | --2017

Easter 2018 is one best remembered for solidification And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

                                                                            |
                                                                            |
                                                                           

7  The law of the Lord is perfect,
    reviving the soul;
the testimony of the Lord is sure,
    making wise the simple;  (Psalm 19:7)

Cause me to hear thy loving kindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.  (Psalm 143:8)

  I have considered my ways and have turned my steps to your statutes.  (Psalm 119:59)

When I consider your heavens,

    the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
    which you have set in place,  (Psalm 8:8)

43 Let the one who is wise heed these things
    and ponder the loving deeds of the Lord.  (Psalm 107:43)

 

He's solid rock under my feet, breathing room for my soul, An impregnable castle: I'm set for life. 

 My help and glory are in God 

 So trust him absolutely, people; lay your lives on the line for him. God is a safe place to be. (Psalm 62:6-8)

I have kept my feet from every evil path so that I might obey your word. 

 I have not departed from your laws, for you yourself have taught me. 

 How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! (Psalm 119:101-103)

 Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with thee.

 For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.

 I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living.  (Psalm 116:7-9)

Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.  (Psalm 37:4)

                                                     

                                                     

Praise The Lord!    

In Out-Out and In

I came across this Calvin and Hobbes cartoon this morning and am being flooded with just how true the realization of this is, I.e.: Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10:24-25

Not to downplay Outreach ministries or the work of  the Church, Deacons, Elders, Program Staff, etc. or anything like that, rather, stir it all up a bit more.

One thing I can recall vividly my 1^st Sunday service, was the use of the word “inreach” and I was sold! I was seeking a new church and I felt I needed you to take care of me and when I joined as a member I took my questions seriously and you had me there, too – to take care of you. What has changed or shifted is the meaning of inreach has morphed into personal development; maintaining mental stability, Spiritual growth, fasting and prayer (1 Peter 2:1-3).

I am not who I was when I showed up at your doorstep wandering lost, lonely, broken, addicted to alcohol/cigarettes and in need—dire need—I was literally going to die...You stirred up to love and encouraged now faith and good works, the type Christ charges us to live and do, freely flow, everywhere I go, additionally I offer you all the greatest gift I can by taking care of myself—you did that! Had no idea, huh, that is how powerful the life in Christ is; Faith and Hope, Peace and Love – the cornerstone of Outreach;

Brothers and Sisters  "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will send you out to fish for people."  - let us keep that in mind in our ministries, even the day-to-day mundane, perhaps using the words of Jim Rohn let us encourage others with a mere “take care of you for me”.

Five Candles - Jars of Clay

Awakening

The usual custom for awakening is a "Good Morning" and a big ole mug of coffee!

But what about a Spiritual Awakening?  Knowing something amazing is going on, feeling a need for solidarity yet, connection for sharing and dialog with "others."  Well, there are plenty of others to talk to, believe me, I could waste 18 hours a day in bullshit conversation--that is an American term; "we were just sitting around bullshitting" or "just shooting the shit."  

I am not really a fan of those terms anymore, the only way to explain that is like when you out grow anything.  Perhaps it isn't so much the terminology rather the root of what the term means that turns me off..."pointless chatter."  Go ahead, get offended, those of you who do talk at me, over me, to me and wonder...or better yet, don't and know it doesn't matter!
     That's right, it does not matter--no one but me is responsible for how I feel or don't feel or react and vise versa.  It bears no reflection but much can be learned if we set with that feeling of being offended.  It is truly one of the best Spiritual Awakenings--that's where the ego feeds!!!  (multiple exclamation points because this growth personally ignites a fire within me)


So, here I am, minding my own business, some not-so-many years ago *BAM* 'Spiritual Awakening' nudging me.  And scaring the hell out of me!  That's right, it scared me into a looking over my shoulder for another mental break.  It also scared me because many things I had professed, prayed and lamented to God and God alone were staring right back at me...Confusing me.  Testing me.  Transforming me.  Growing me.  Preparing me for ____________(fill in the blank).  This year it was not cupcakes but, breaking from society.  
     Look, I don't know what's next or yet to come--what I DO know is I know what I am doing even though it is a mystery.

Where I am struggling is really in the placement of boundaries.  I no longer find a lot of  my "older patterns" (AKA the "false self" which is very ego based) my way, my path -- there where the road forked, I went the other way.  I do not seek the company of others.  Yes, I do not seek the company of others.  I seek Faith in "for everything there is a season", I seek God's timing and placement for sharing and connecting--not creating it myself or fumbling back into places I am expected or I feel obligated.  

For my heart knows its home and that space is to be free from defilement.  That's my call.  I cannot answer it yet, I tried, I was hung up on.  And until I stopped getting "hung up on" everything and reflected silently then I felt what I know.  What I know is this:   I accept all this.  My pilgrimage is mine and mine alone.  We are supposed to turn toward and lean on God (not (wo)man) and with all things, God will provide--God will provide spaces and places for sharing.
     
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven"

Comfortable Silence

Eternal "Secrets"

surround

stop and see

hear...

As you can see from the tabs on this blog, there are months I have much to say and months I appear idle.  Some of that I chalk up to my Bipolar--yes, I own it, it is mine, we coexist most often comfortably but, like any and all couples, we have our moments and disagreements. 

I digress...

Until fairly recently, I chalk this up to the Spiritual Director now in my life, see and hear need not always be shared makes sense.  I don't always need to say or share anything.  Some "secrets" are to be viewed, felt, contemplated, logged, blogged for just me and God.  All too often I found myself feeling I needed to get it out, needed to get something, anything, out. 

Sometimes God does not desire to speak through me, rather, to me

The #asheepsruleofthumb 'hint and twist of lime' here for me is; stop, see, hear; just live, live the transformation, share that:

Philippians 4 NIV

^"8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."

Bucket List

     A couple weeks back some friends were mentioning their bucket list, the done and to-do again and the still need to check off.  I piped in with my theory or belief:

"I don't have a bucket list.  I figure anything I would like to do here and don't get a chance will be made abundantly opportune in the ever lasting life.  ["interesting" the comment from the one friend] So yes, buckets abundant or abundant buckets…no list required."

      I feel, deeply, this life is to deepen my soul.  With self, with others and more than anything with God; because of Jesus and via the Living Spirit.  The deeper my relationship with Him, bubbling spring, bucket not required for refreshment...whatever is set aside or tabled or not available to me here would be parching.  It's to be of no worry for it shall all and more be waiting hereafter--where time shall never be pressed for!

     Perhaps this sounds I'm off my rocker but, I must confess, this earth has nothing I want to possess or anything that I really feel I am missing by not experiencing.  It does however invite me into the robust realm of its infinite wonder.  Leaving me wanting access to all of it.  Glimpses lived while here a mere appetizer.  In waiting--imagining the beauty of so much unknown and time periods of those lived who awe me - to watch the bold, creative, mind of Michelangelo in action.  I could go on and on! 

The Lord knows my heart, so, my "bucket list" consists of what is infinite…in a world without end.  Amen.

Heart's Consumption

Living as Those Made Alive in Christ

1 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.

2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

4 When Christ, who is your^a life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.

6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.^b

7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.          

     I often have this scripture earwormed.  I actually love the whole chapter as it makes me feel included, whereas often in today's times I feel "weird" or "not normal" living happily disciplined and comfortably celibate.  I have many I know who do not understand my want and need of letting go of the "life you once lived."  Sometimes this earworm really ignites the flame of the Spirit in my heart! 

A beloved one once said, "sometimes God can break your heart."  I agree, but am seeing with those broken pieces--sometimes it has to be that shared heartbreak.  Heartbreak of earthy wedges shared between souls here on earth, where glimpses of the greater image are created:

"Christ is alive and comes to bring good news to this and every age, till earth and sky and oceans ring with joy, with justice, love and praise!"

(From the hymn; "Christ is Alive! Let Christians Sing"  Brian A. Wren (1968, 1978, alt.)

Hymn

So, this evening I felt moved enough by all of the above, welled-up within, to grab my heart coaster (as opposed to the spade, club or diamond coaster), as well as, the matches used in igniting my grill and photo until it captured the fire of the Holy Spirit felt within me...

           

--Thinking about change and growth

Growing older used to scare the hell out of me,

a lot of hearing about:

The must find someone

or

The need to find someone

for this existence.

Must have a plan, called to?

or

Find purpose (like it's lost),

to exist.

I often felt a very inadequate

cold and lonely presence

I am ever so thankful that those days are behind me--

The real deal is so matter-of-fact:

As Billie Holiday says:

"Ain't nobody's business if I do

Nobody's business

Ain't nobody's business

Nobody's business if I do…"

As Billy Idol says:

"Well there's nothing to lose

And there's nothing to prove

I'll be dancing with myself…"

"True Self--who you are in God and who God is in you--and to live a generous life from that Infinite Source." --Fr. Richard Rohr

My Call the Sequel

http://tyunstoppable.blogspot.com/2015/07/my-call.html --you can find the original here

This was scribbled one year ago today…

Being I only had one bizarre comment on Google+ when it went live on my blog last year, I feel perhaps, I should break this down a bit.  Let me back track, the comment was something to the effect that I have an odd way of Christianity.  I do!!  (According to mainstream society) 

Okay so I scribbled this down while I was listening to Dave Matthews Crash CD.  I like to, at times, give credit to what I am listening to.  Because I know these people and know they are good people worth endorsing-No.  Because, the Spirit moves in everything, and I mean everything.

Title:  My Call

1st 4 lines/words = The holy (no pun intended, okay maybe!) crap I am not worthy.  To the self-examination question--Shame? 

2nd set of 7 lines/words = Rationalize, justifying, the but it was because or they started it so I…  To the self-examination question--Scared?

3rd set of 4 lines/words = THE Light coming into the darkness.  Feeling Grace.

4th set of 3 lines/words = False self to True self.  And that, friends, I am learning should feel uncomfortable and a bit chaotic.  Dig Deep.

5th set of lines/words = Pretty easy to understand--"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" 

6th and final line/word = "Abnormality!" --NOT MAINSTREAM.  Not "normal" when I am often listened to…

Celibate.  Sober.  My friends are older.  Love of Christian Discipline.  I could go on and on.

The exclamation point = I love being New Life "Abnormal"  [2 Corinthians 5:17]

And these calls from God aren't just this one time, but every time I am called:  it is good, even if some liminal spaces are agonizing.

Priorities

What's really sad to me, is the media creating more crap rather than helping to bridge the gap.  I know, many disagree with this, I took a small beating on Twitter (shrugs)!  However, I regret perhaps that some can't see the advantage true media could have in today's times.  As if so 'brainwashed' by cheap media, scare and ratings tactics that anything outside that is problematic (ratings v. unbiased fact and positive change).
Maybe I am not wording correctly.

I know that I am not out there being angry and hateful and stirring pots to get heated reactions.  I am not out there with a heart of hurting people or nature.  I am not out there with a soul filled with me, me, me...
Yet, I feel at times held accountable for those who are.

My catch phase is; "sorry."  Even when I have done nothing; I am bumped into, I say, "sorry" I see someone belittled somewhere by another, if I have opportunity, I say "I'm sorry."

Because ya know what, this current state the whole world is in, not just America, is pathetically sorry!

Maybe I am a blind fool and should just keep my head down and mouth shut, which is what many have told me in my life, but when I feel something deeply it is as if wild horses are dragging it out...

What I feel right now is a whole lot of many emotions at once and the media, our local media is stoking the fire.  FYI, it's Summer and we don't need any more heat.

I shall say no more, just keep on keeping on, with my head bowed down and my hands clasped together, for prayer is greater than words.

Openness

Open to receive

     any and all things

     without resistance;

Preconceived, self-directed, manipulated notions

no longer will do,

     though, they time to time flutter about

     in and out of the mind

like a butterfly, effortless amongst a breeze

            Allowance...

Lust of a different kind

good, bad or indifferent;

    

Accept it.

     Hold it.

     Contemplate it.

Dance with it…

More questions than answers;

Awing and inspiring

     fear's not knee jerking

rather, gently nudged to step back

    view the landscape…

who you really are?

http://m.gty.org/resources/articles/A214/nothing-safe-about-secret-sin#.VYwooUtMuwc.facebook

A great read, again, as I read it last year and found how I find it additionally/differently helpful in this time and space.

This is what jumps and pumps within right now: "As a matter of fact, your secret life is the real litmus test of your character: "As he thinks within himself, so he is" (Proverbs 23:7). Do you want to know who you really are? Take a hard look at your private life—especially your innermost thoughts."

"Do you want to know who you really are?
Take a hard look at your private life—especially your innermost thoughts"

An invitation for us all...

Yes.

My innermost thoughts are often very celestial/Spiritual.  It's not that I am out of touch with "reality" it's more of a I see, feel and live the best I can 'here' in the moment.  

I am one who will choose the Spiritual over earthly every time...(though I am human and yes, I fail when earthly gets to be tempting time to time)

By that I mean, I live open to receive all unseen, unknown.  All God is giving to me; especially the promise of life eternally.  And the pieces shared now!  

I, again, best I can 'here' live that eternal reunion and love, true love.  Sometimes almost a creating of time and space for that in the now amongst the heartbreak and sadness.  An ascension of sorts.

I am one who loves being gentle, kind, serene, playful--not an unwise folly, joyful and loving.  Greater than not those are the basis of my innermost thoughts.

First and foremost my innermost thoughts are I want to be as good and pure and disciplined as possible 'here.'  I want NOT to sin.  I want NOT to temp others to sin.  I want NOT to keep company of sin.  I want to be, carry and company Peace.  

(this is not a one time shot and finished answer, always a work in process and progress)

I'd say I am wanting what God is preparing for me...

I am quiet, I am ready, I am faithful, I am wild oats sown, I am His.

For what shall I pray;

Holiest God of all, 
keep me in ways that are fruitful to you and for you--
moment by moment; awake, at rest - in Spirit, body and mind. 

Forgiving, loving and guiding all my earthly ways...
In Christ's name always, amen.

Pillow Talk

Pillow Talk

Middle of the night

Tap on the shoulder

<Unresponsive>

     I need you

     Slight body thrust

I'm right here

Attention gained

What's on your mind?

     Just talk to me…

You ok?

     Just talk to me..

'Home' is key for me

Sometimes my head gets lost

Best to stay in one place

I know

I go off roaming around

Here and there instead

Present moment by moment

Presence warmly felt

Selfish need kicks in

Overthinking

Cold, lonely, longing

Comfortable silence switch flipped

off

Free falling abandonment

Just because I'm not there

Doesn't mean I'm not there

Playing over and over again

Comforts me

While breaking my heart

     Why are you crying?

Just talking to you…

      You ok?

Attention gained

You're right here…

                                                         F.R.O.G.  (Fully Rely On GOD)

It Is Written

"It's going down, I'm yelling timber!" - Pitbull & Kesha

Yep!  You know it, 
the faithful blindsided,
evil is evil because it's very convincing

Proverbs 14:5

eyes open,
haze free,
holy shit - that's the "I've always known you"...

Malachi 3:18 

Mask removed--
WOW!, 
Didn't see that "clothing" coming!
Though it is as it was written...

2 Timothy 4:3-4 

God is calling us forward,

Luke 15:1-7

We must go where we must (poached) to know;
Hello!

1 John 4:1

Nope, not locking horns any more--
God has me stepping aside now,
my services no longer needed here...

2 Timothy 4:17

He is gathering His flock,
He has been roused with anger;
Shepard His own sheep now,
just as it was written...

Ezekiel 34:11-16

Now what?  None of my business!!!
Titus 3:10-11