In Out-Out and In

I came across this Calvin and Hobbes cartoon this morning and am being flooded with just how true the realization of this is, I.e.: Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10:24-25

Not to downplay Outreach ministries or the work of  the Church, Deacons, Elders, Program Staff, etc. or anything like that, rather, stir it all up a bit more.

One thing I can recall vividly my 1^st Sunday service, was the use of the word “inreach” and I was sold! I was seeking a new church and I felt I needed you to take care of me and when I joined as a member I took my questions seriously and you had me there, too – to take care of you. What has changed or shifted is the meaning of inreach has morphed into personal development; maintaining mental stability, Spiritual growth, fasting and prayer (1 Peter 2:1-3).

I am not who I was when I showed up at your doorstep wandering lost, lonely, broken, addicted to alcohol/cigarettes and in need—dire need—I was literally going to die...You stirred up to love and encouraged now faith and good works, the type Christ charges us to live and do, freely flow, everywhere I go, additionally I offer you all the greatest gift I can by taking care of myself—you did that! Had no idea, huh, that is how powerful the life in Christ is; Faith and Hope, Peace and Love – the cornerstone of Outreach;

Brothers and Sisters  "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will send you out to fish for people."  - let us keep that in mind in our ministries, even the day-to-day mundane, perhaps using the words of Jim Rohn let us encourage others with a mere “take care of you for me”.

Five Candles - Jars of Clay

Your will

1. The more I resist who I am the more Holy discontent I feel.

• "An inner dialogue of give and take" - Richard Rohr
• “You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” - Mark 8:33
•  After Jesus had gone indoors, his disciples asked him privately, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?"  He replied, “This kind can come out only by prayer." - Mark 9:28-29

     Interestingly, during the depression group I attend, the things the handful of other folks in the group listed as what makes them feel better are the very things that make me feel worse…

For example, calling friends and making plans; not being alone or isolated.  One individual stated she wishes she liked herself more so that she would be okay with being by herself.  I stated; "that can bite you in the ass!"  I shared how odd I feel being I feel better when there aren't calls and plans made how I feel best in prayer, church, groups of self depth based give and take--among others so long as it has Purpose (capital P - God 1st). 

     Another individual piped in with the word "connection" I exclaimed yes.  However, for me the word connection has become so watered down in today's times.  Connection with something larger than oneself in company.  I seek and do best in the Spirit.  Becoming one with another/others [in Christ], and again, that gets twisted up sometimes due to dual reference: A. one in flesh (Mark 10:8) & B. one in spirit (1 Corinthians 6:17)…I have to be careful of wording because generally I speak as all know I am on the spiritual page vs. of the flesh. 

     As I exited the parking lot another individual from the group said, "I don't think you need this depression group any more, I wish I was as happy as you!"  I replied it's times and places like this that fill me without having to have coffee or lunch with anyone!  That is actually one thing that causes me to feel depressed and stressed, the want of my time so often by others, to be pinned down ASAP when I appear [to them] to be doing better.  I avoid most people when I am feeling great, why, because then just seeing me for moments in passing and sharing (what is filling for me) is not enough for others they want more.  This individual in the parking lot said "so as far as it goes."  I thought about that my whole canal walk back to the bus stop, and yeah, I find myself being vague to avoid hostilities.

I have an image of myself in my head as this little monkish happy soul, constantly opening the Bible and just randomly picking places to read and spending days and weeks alone just having inner dialogue, wandering, freestyle interacting and taking pictures.  I also have this image of another being part of that sacred space.  Another image is my life outside my home being spent mainly within walls of worship spaces and therapeutic spaces and where the Spirit invites me day-to-day mundane.  Sometimes those day-to-day mundane invitations take me to places of being challenged and yes, even challenging, what would Jesus do style.

I am curious is my need, deep inward call type need, of being so engulfed in fasting and prayer part of what keeps my mental illness at bay--"this kind can come out only by prayer" is it that which helps keep my ego at bay--"you do not have in mind the concerns of God".  Is it I feel Holy discontent because I have yet to be able to articulate properly?  Or is the Holy discontentment I feel  so I may stop resisting?  "Fear not!" "Do not be afraid!" "Do not fear!" - embrace this discontentment for God is with me!

Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

"Practices"

I never predict "practices" or "resolutions", the Holy Spirit moves and works in unpredictable ways...

Lenten "Practice" 1.  

Keep my eyes on my own paper.  My answers aren't elsewhere.

Lenten "Practice" 2.

"Pay attention, now! I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. So be as cunning as serpents and as innocent as doves." -Matt 10:16

Lenten "Practice" 3.

"self-reliance and self-learning are your greatest assets" -Lailah Gifty Akita

Lenten "Practice" 4.

"You have gotten to where you are at by way of how you got there."  -Paul G.

Just(ice) How Righteous

Passion for justice & peace vs. righteous anger:

To be angry causes a chain reaction of disharmony.
To be peaceful causes a chain reaction of love.

anger = chaos
peace = calm

With Lent approaching, as well as, ongoing presidential debates, Lord, let us watch our tones and tongues.  Within The Spirit of true grace and redemption absolute, I pray these things. Amen.

"The aim of God in history is the creation of an all-inclusive community of loving persons, with Himself included in that community as its prime sustainer and most glorious inhabitant." 
— Dallas Willard

Weekend "Mantra"

This is what I have chewed on for the week:

"For what will it profit [them] to gain the whole world & forfeit [their] life?"

I invite you to gnaw, on this bit, with me...

 — feeling good, how are YOU feeling?

                                                                 My weekend "Mantra"

Your path is not mine to walk
nor is my path yours to walk.

When I catch myself being judgmental [yep! the "J" word] I bring my focus back around to the above. I then try spending contemplative time with:
- How and/or does this affect MY path

There are positive effects to opposite walkers and there are negative effects to opposite walkers--We can only maintain, without shame, our own paths. My weekend "mantra" so to speak wink emoticon

Happy Ash Wednesday

There is evil in God's house
seemingly at every channel turn
seen numbingly
subtly
evil is evil because it is very convincing

I am just like you
no better
no worse
God fearing
God loving
full of sin
whole heartedly repenting
repeatedly
saved
through Christ

day by day
praying

Lord, deliver me from evil
I'm tired of all the bullshit
I'm tired of all the lies
I am totally unsure
unto which whom I can confide

I deliver to Your presence
my heart,
wash it clean
so I may start new again

open my eyes so I may see
signs of truth
of You

everywhere
in every way
You shall humbly utilize me

Amen.

*We Are Who We Are, by Little Mix in my little ears!

Inwardly Turning

One of the reasons Advent is my preference to Lent is the consuming joy felt.
Lent being more a cumbersome, somber state of affairs.

Turned inward,

distant from the world around

focus heavily amongst the spiritual realm.

Balance not a strong suit

often confused

misunderstood

finding the "grey" area

not the issue at all ...

Quite contrary

that is indeed

residency

majorly.



Often voiced;

old soul, wrong place in time,

hard to relate.

Stemming way back,

spiritual side preference

as opposed to this earthly nonsense.


One who comforts immensely knowing--
"Thy kingdom come, Your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven"



As this Lenten season progresses

continue observing

taken up;

wake-up,

did deep wilderness walking

calling ...

Mindful after three days

Christ risen from the dead

walked among the living again--

Still teaching.

Working.

Walking.

Via our

hearts, hands and feet...