The usual custom for awakening is a "Good Morning" and a big ole mug of coffee!
But what about a Spiritual Awakening? Knowing something amazing is going on, feeling a need for solidarity yet, connection for sharing and dialog with "others." Well, there are plenty of others to talk to, believe me, I could waste 18 hours a day in bullshit conversation--that is an American term; "we were just sitting around bullshitting" or "just shooting the shit."
I am not really a fan of those terms anymore, the only way to explain that is like when you out grow anything. Perhaps it isn't so much the terminology rather the root of what the term means that turns me off..."pointless chatter." Go ahead, get offended, those of you who do talk at me, over me, to me and wonder...or better yet, don't and know it doesn't matter!
That's right, it does not matter--no one but me is responsible for how I feel or don't feel or react and vise versa. It bears no reflection but much can be learned if we set with that feeling of being offended. It is truly one of the best Spiritual Awakenings--that's where the ego feeds!!! (multiple exclamation points because this growth personally ignites a fire within me)
So, here I am, minding my own business, some not-so-many years ago *BAM* 'Spiritual Awakening' nudging me. And scaring the hell out of me! That's right, it scared me into a looking over my shoulder for another mental break. It also scared me because many things I had professed, prayed and lamented to God and God alone were staring right back at me...Confusing me. Testing me. Transforming me. Growing me. Preparing me for ____________(fill in the blank). This year it was not cupcakes but, breaking from society.
Look, I don't know what's next or yet to come--what I DO know is I know what I am doing even though it is a mystery.
Where I am struggling is really in the placement of boundaries. I no longer find a lot of my "older patterns" (AKA the "false self" which is very ego based) my way, my path -- there where the road forked, I went the other way. I do not seek the company of others. Yes, I do not seek the company of others. I seek Faith in "for everything there is a season", I seek God's timing and placement for sharing and connecting--not creating it myself or fumbling back into places I am expected or I feel obligated.
For my heart knows its home and that space is to be free from defilement. That's my call. I cannot answer it yet, I tried, I was hung up on. And until I stopped getting "hung up on" everything and reflected silently then I felt what I know. What I know is this: I accept all this. My pilgrimage is mine and mine alone. We are supposed to turn toward and lean on God (not (wo)man) and with all things, God will provide--God will provide spaces and places for sharing.
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven"
https://tygerforwardis.wordpress.com/2017/11/22/seven-days-gratitude-2/
No, I am not leaving my blogspot. I am however mixing and splitting things up. Almost like having a few books going at once or a few journals for different thoughts.
Feel free to check me out on wordpress, where the focus for me will be more of the meditative, quiet, Spiritual reflections--more of the going in.
Happy Thanksgiving
Awoke without a hitch just a few minutes past six. After topping off the cat dishes and starting the caffeine IV drip, I turned the TV on and caught the last 15 minutes of "The Facts of Life."
It was the episode where Jo and Blair go back home for the weekend, each staying with a long time friend and separately have their own same experiences; realizing their friends are "the same." Jo has an experience with her long time friend, who maintains the old Bronx "us against them" rough and tumble rude attitude, who soon takes to getting angry that Jo has changed since being away at Eastland boarding school. Taking shots like; when you're there do you drink with your pinkie up? Or down?
The scene takes place at the Bronx community center where Jo's friend gets riled up at some elder men playing checkers all because they asked if she could pick up two they dropped. She again gets riled up, trying to rile the Jo she once knew to join her in defacing a newly finished, Spanish mural. The end result was a scuffle where Jo takes the can of spray paint and points out the beauty of the mural and that the turf Jesse is sabotaging out of hostile stick-to-itiveness is a community center--and they are all part of the same community. This leaves Jo's friend exiting with a stay somewhere else because now you're on "their side"-unity within community's side.
Meanwhile Blair has a very similar visit with her friend from an equally affluent background. Her friend having a gathering and the maid is MIA. This is a travesty and unacceptable and everything is ruined moment. After trying to reason her friend into it isn't the end of the world, Blair grabs an apron deciding to make tuna salad, happily. Her friend thinks this is no time for jokes or even worse - Blair knows how to use a can opener! The whole time Blair combats small jabs about how, clearly, it is the poor influence of the once well revered now will just let "anyone" in Eastland boarding school.
The maid arrives after having a tooth extracted and points out to Blair's friend how everything is preset and that she is on schedule. Blatant disregard and disrespect for the maid upsets Blair and she asks the maid how her tooth is. This inquiring riles up Blair's friend enough to make the point that Blair has become something undesirable; "on her side"-the maid's side.
As Blair meets up with Jo at the coffee shop to head back to Eastland, they have a love hate relationship mind you, without saying much at all, they realize they are grateful to have each other and that the words, "the same" bear both sadness and gladness.
I found this particularly timely this morning as just yesterday I struggled with thoughts of is this "normal" that people get upset when I'm growing and changing in positive ways? Is it "normal" that I see those negative and unhealthy more and more the stronger the positive and healthy becomes? It is "normal" to feel some try to rile the 'old me' up? Is it "normal" some will get upset with my growth? Is it "normal" I question my positive strides because I'm feeling some resistance around me?
Yes;
bearing both sadness and gladness!
