The usual custom for awakening is a "Good Morning" and a big ole mug of coffee!
But what about a Spiritual Awakening? Knowing something amazing is going on, feeling a need for solidarity yet, connection for sharing and dialog with "others." Well, there are plenty of others to talk to, believe me, I could waste 18 hours a day in bullshit conversation--that is an American term; "we were just sitting around bullshitting" or "just shooting the shit."
I am not really a fan of those terms anymore, the only way to explain that is like when you out grow anything. Perhaps it isn't so much the terminology rather the root of what the term means that turns me off..."pointless chatter." Go ahead, get offended, those of you who do talk at me, over me, to me and wonder...or better yet, don't and know it doesn't matter!
That's right, it does not matter--no one but me is responsible for how I feel or don't feel or react and vise versa. It bears no reflection but much can be learned if we set with that feeling of being offended. It is truly one of the best Spiritual Awakenings--that's where the ego feeds!!! (multiple exclamation points because this growth personally ignites a fire within me)
So, here I am, minding my own business, some not-so-many years ago *BAM* 'Spiritual Awakening' nudging me. And scaring the hell out of me! That's right, it scared me into a looking over my shoulder for another mental break. It also scared me because many things I had professed, prayed and lamented to God and God alone were staring right back at me...Confusing me. Testing me. Transforming me. Growing me. Preparing me for ____________(fill in the blank). This year it was not cupcakes but, breaking from society.
Look, I don't know what's next or yet to come--what I DO know is I know what I am doing even though it is a mystery.
Where I am struggling is really in the placement of boundaries. I no longer find a lot of my "older patterns" (AKA the "false self" which is very ego based) my way, my path -- there where the road forked, I went the other way. I do not seek the company of others. Yes, I do not seek the company of others. I seek Faith in "for everything there is a season", I seek God's timing and placement for sharing and connecting--not creating it myself or fumbling back into places I am expected or I feel obligated.
For my heart knows its home and that space is to be free from defilement. That's my call. I cannot answer it yet, I tried, I was hung up on. And until I stopped getting "hung up on" everything and reflected silently then I felt what I know. What I know is this: I accept all this. My pilgrimage is mine and mine alone. We are supposed to turn toward and lean on God (not (wo)man) and with all things, God will provide--God will provide spaces and places for sharing.
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven"
