--Thinking about change and growth

Growing older used to scare the hell out of me,

a lot of hearing about:

The must find someone

or

The need to find someone

for this existence.

Must have a plan, called to?

or

Find purpose (like it's lost),

to exist.

I often felt a very inadequate

cold and lonely presence

I am ever so thankful that those days are behind me--

The real deal is so matter-of-fact:

As Billie Holiday says:

"Ain't nobody's business if I do

Nobody's business

Ain't nobody's business

Nobody's business if I do…"

As Billy Idol says:

"Well there's nothing to lose

And there's nothing to prove

I'll be dancing with myself…"

"True Self--who you are in God and who God is in you--and to live a generous life from that Infinite Source." --Fr. Richard Rohr

It IS and It Is Good!!

Several weeks back I was sharing with one of our pastors how awe striking this method is:  (see Richard Rohr's daily meditation for today:  https://cac.org/the-magic-and-mystery-of-intimacy-2016-03-01/ )

What I find so engulfing is noting more and more the cross-references of prophecies and the whole God’s predestination of those in the Bible. Right from the beginning, God letting Adam know--no worries, though by the way this isn't going to be pretty in the meantime, but, the seed of the woman (Christ) will redeem. Stepping on the snakes head (destroying Satan/sin) though his fangs will bruise Christ's heel by way of his sufferings.

Noting more and more the importance of the Law (Mosaic) for Israel, as well as during Christ's ministry here. And noting bigger picture, so to speak.

How key the Abrahamic covenant is to understanding the Gospel.

All so comforting, like when I feel like Thomas, noting and new sight just pushes that all away—like being told myself; see, touch!

How even in Luke, Jesus tells of his own death but the 12 just can't comprehend this, because well, no mention of grace yet, Christ hadn't died.

Seeing God's transcendence in all of that and more!

I'd told this same pastor several years back in response to a question: "I cannot not follow Christ!" follow up question was "can you say more about that?" "No, I cannot, there is nothing more to say!!"

Just as now, I cannot not see God everywhere. I cannot not feel Christ living. I cannot not get swept up in the Holy Spirit within and among...

The only "more" I can say about this is; it is an experience, a lifestyle, a Love story of sorts and why would I want to try and overthink it?! It IS and it is good! 

heart emoticon

Rejoice! Rejoice!!

"Jesus took Peter, John and James and went up the mountain to pray. Can you follow Jesus and go up on the mountain and pray? Can you carve out time time to listen and share with him the joys and sorrow of your daily life? On this Second Sunday of Lent be open and allow God the opportunity to speak to your heart. Let yourself experience God's transforming love."  (Taken from the 'Mercy Spirituality Center' Facebook Page; https://www.facebook.com/Mercy-Spirituality-Center-358657827490413/?pnref=story)

I had quite an Epiphany yesterday, (both services, different bits and pieces), being these very questions have been prayerfully and contemplatively working within and among me. I have experienced a full fledged "whew, thank you, Lord, you DO hear my prayers."

1st, randomly opening to hymn #268--feeling the "what I am called to do" type feeling with regard to wars, trials and lack of peace--be absorbed in prayer & praise! Alleluia, Amen. The way to peace = prayer and praise, that's the "how."

2nd, "silence in us any voice but Your own" became vivid and starkly "real!"--(meditate)

* I shall not give up and allow threat to scare me...like the hen and her brood. (paraphrased from the sermon)
* "Join in Jesus' lament for the city" (from sermon)
and all peoples;
*look around "these are your people!" (taken from a past time with the children. Martha explaining how in the south 'who are your people' means what family are you from, etc.)
* "Blow Your trumpet, lift up the oppressed!" (from the prayer of the people)
* Awaken us for the ways we become connected to each other. (paraphrased from the prayer of the people)
* "be transformed!" (not sure if sermon or prayer of the people)

I went in open, more open than I normally head into church wanting and needing God to speak to my heart. I revel in joy within for I am "growing up..." (see Richard Rohr's daily meditation for todayhttps://cac.org/three-steps-forward-two-steps-backward-2016-02-22/)
Deeply meditative and I heard NOT John, NOT Martha, NOT anyone but God! How do I know??? Because only I know what I pray and the Lord God himself...I was heard and answered!!!

* "Go in to go out"--woke to those words from a dream on 12/28/2015

For I am not on a wilderness walk! I am on hiking the mountainous range!!!

Thanks be to God, Amen. Thanks be to Jesus, my best friend, thanks be to the Holy Spirit within and among me. Thanks be Holy Trinity.

"Rejoice, Rejoice, Emmanuel shall come to thee oh Israel!!" (ear-wormed in my head and heart)