When I fired up the TV this morning it was some TV preacher preaching to a huge, packed, convention center somewhere. I was still fumbling about feeding boys(cats), starting coffee and opening windows but I was stopped dead in my tracks…
He was preaching something I've never heard preached--The Song of Solomon. There is a song by Kate Bush I love based on the Song of Solomon, but that really has nothing to do with this, but I do indeed like Kate Bush! Anyway, he was preaching everything I have come into living and feeling and believing and knowing for myself, true self. He points out how there is a very small bit of sexual intimacy within the book of Solomon, it is conversation. It is intimacy on a whole other level, a level in which God wants for us to know. Lying with one is a step taken too soon often, not truly knowing pure and absolute intimacy with God as well as another. He then was going on about how sexual attraction is an extremely strong emotion, especially when one loves another. It is important to keep those emotions in check (Paul speaks of this a few times, if you cannot then marry. If you can, remain unmarried.), not only because it is Biblically so but because the way to true intimacy is not through means of sexual sharing. That is where this television preacher had me--true intimacy is not through means of sexual sharing.
He did go on "for the young people out there" if you think marriage is one big sexual encounter from the time you say I do until you drag your tired feet through the pearly gates, you are way off base and anyone here in a committed relationship can probably tell you better than anyone just how true this is! LOL
My rambling here is what I caught before this program ended and my coffee was done, however, where he had me was preaching Solomon and the; true intimacy is not through means of sexual sharing. This is solely where he had me for reasons I never knew why in the past, often asked "why, what's wrong with you?" It was wrong not wanting to, it was wrong not wanting to.
What is wrong with me that something feels so empty and crushing if the opposite of this is wrong, this is supposed to be right. Often my "afterglow" thoughts, not very afterglow in reality.
I've always, in hindsight, known the right path for me is not sexual intimacy. Hearing this television preacher for a few moments has cast a Job-like light for me…I am of no gender or orientation here because the way for me here is not sexual intimacy and ya know what, there's nothing wrong with me! There’s never been anything wrong with me!!
Now, I am not sharing this as a this is the way for all. Nope, we all are different and ya know what, whatever your way is--there's nothing wrong with you!!
*This Pic Hangs Near My Desk:
