Medusa [An Annie Lennox Advent]

 Whiter Shade of Pale - Annie Lennox

 

 

If you’ve been following the bouncing-ball, ‘grateful for’ this year is a blank I am struggling to fill in.  Advent my favorite, joy-filled time of year feels intensely somber, like Medusa is lurking around the corner; gaze and be turned to stone?  Keep averting the profane normalcy of today’s society? 

Christmas hymns, seasonal festive music, movies and yes, even “A Charlie Brown Christmas” all a numb boredom…however, the album Medusa by Annie Lennox feels seasonally appropriate.

I waited for the ashes of my 17+ year feline companion “to come” home to do my decorating, yes, even my little Charlie Brown Christmas tree.  It is not his physical absence, it is not that my physical Christmas gifts have been given, it is not that I look around seeing the physical reality of our world or even the physical reality staring back in the mirror.  Perhaps, the hidden scars & crosses I bear. 

Or perhaps, it is the real of the Christmas story; the portion lacking: infancy—adulthood of Jesus Christ–hidden.  Hidden below the surface. 

 *not my image or property*

Curious wondering with tones of I can’t even imagine.  What was Mary and Joseph’s life like those years?  Not to mention our dear little Savior–the “terrible twos” to the awkward-phase teenage years?  His realization of I am He!  Not to mention Mom and “Stepdad” (yeah, think about that!) parenting the worlds SAVIOR…

I can’t even imagine, yet I try, over and over again.  The imagery at times in my mind feels cute, fun clips and others feel worrisome…

Maybe this is the seed of my 2018 Advent somber tones.  Unknown.  Secret.  Hidden.  Uncertain.  Tied together with Faith.  Faith & Hope in the same unknown.  That in between, much like my own life’s places of in between–hidden.  The same but different, lacking.

 

12/2018 Tiger Albee Photo

Peace is~

Peace is~
The tingling, warm feelings in my chest

like at any given moment my heart will burst out from within.

Peace is~
Fighting to keep my eyes open, when I am not even tired

with every eyelid flutter more soothing than the other.

Peace is~
No matter time or place, the you-ness of you existing comfortably, almost weightlessly

aware, yet, without a worry or care.

Unexpectedly Extinguished

The 1st Advent candle was lit, we sang

and then, it went out.

The 1st candle was re-lit and the second candle was then lit, we sang

and then, they went out.

As if from lit to spent, my mind wound down

unexpectedly extinguished, with those candle flames.

 Without a word, familiar presence

rest well, here with me.

Softly whispered, within my chest

pen to paper;

Life in a candle

to hope is but a dance with a peaceful flame,
rekindling moments
in every wick
joyfully burning my smoldering soul
lovingly flickering

Advent fantasies...

 ^-The process -^

Saturday December 09, 2017

Peace is~

Peace is~
The tingling, warm feelings in my chest

like at any given moment my heart will burst out from within.

Peace is~
Fighting to keep my eyes open, when I am not even tired

with every eyelid flutter more soothing than the other.

Peace is~
No matter time or place, the you-ness of you existing comfortably, almost weightlessly

aware, yet, without a worry or care.

‪#‎Peace‬

Hope

Bursts of beauty, from within

Alabaster glowing, radiance

Voice of an angel, taking flight

Unto the darkness, of my mind

Flickering Advent fantasies

Come Beloved, I welcome thee

As the warmth consumes me...

Hope

I AM f*****g weird!

I AM f*****g weird.  And I love my little weirdo ass.

I'm not very traditional by today's standards.   I AM socially awkward.   I AM kinda creepy, though a harmless creepy. I AM often misunderstood, with good reasons; what one heard or read is indeed messed-up, however, like a word with two meanings; that's SO not the meaning I meant. 

I grow so tired of social networking sites...due to lack of authenticity.  Don't get me wrong I struggle, superficial is pretty deep for me though I do strive for one on one genuine sharing.

I really love this time of year.  Not based on fond childhood memories or wishful thinking.  Just so wonderful the whole Thanksgiving-which I spent comfortably alone yet, not feeling at all alone due to overwhelming gratitude and presence.

Now Advent has begun, I feel so PJ's cozy everywhere I am.  It's a time to die all over again and welcome The Christ born anew, within...

If you could see the visions and images in my head these feelings and times create I am fairly certain it would warm your heart like a homemade mug of hot cocoa with little marshmallows.  While your soul tucked in, all comfy, with your favorite blanket.

May you all find and embrace your "weird."  Forget what is societal.  Prepare your heart by being true to it.

Advent blessings...

Relax--Recoup, Retool, Regroup

You wake me,

won't go away,

until

you get your way.

Grumble-some

my feet hit the floor,

same as days before;

As I caffinate

and vittle-fill your dish,

you, now fast asleep

where I once

comfortably slept! 

:)

#selfishtwit