Medusa [An Annie Lennox Advent]

 Whiter Shade of Pale - Annie Lennox

 

 

If you’ve been following the bouncing-ball, ‘grateful for’ this year is a blank I am struggling to fill in.  Advent my favorite, joy-filled time of year feels intensely somber, like Medusa is lurking around the corner; gaze and be turned to stone?  Keep averting the profane normalcy of today’s society? 

Christmas hymns, seasonal festive music, movies and yes, even “A Charlie Brown Christmas” all a numb boredom…however, the album Medusa by Annie Lennox feels seasonally appropriate.

I waited for the ashes of my 17+ year feline companion “to come” home to do my decorating, yes, even my little Charlie Brown Christmas tree.  It is not his physical absence, it is not that my physical Christmas gifts have been given, it is not that I look around seeing the physical reality of our world or even the physical reality staring back in the mirror.  Perhaps, the hidden scars & crosses I bear. 

Or perhaps, it is the real of the Christmas story; the portion lacking: infancy—adulthood of Jesus Christ–hidden.  Hidden below the surface. 

 *not my image or property*

Curious wondering with tones of I can’t even imagine.  What was Mary and Joseph’s life like those years?  Not to mention our dear little Savior–the “terrible twos” to the awkward-phase teenage years?  His realization of I am He!  Not to mention Mom and “Stepdad” (yeah, think about that!) parenting the worlds SAVIOR…

I can’t even imagine, yet I try, over and over again.  The imagery at times in my mind feels cute, fun clips and others feel worrisome…

Maybe this is the seed of my 2018 Advent somber tones.  Unknown.  Secret.  Hidden.  Uncertain.  Tied together with Faith.  Faith & Hope in the same unknown.  That in between, much like my own life’s places of in between–hidden.  The same but different, lacking.

 

12/2018 Tiger Albee Photo

Peace is~

Peace is~
The tingling, warm feelings in my chest

like at any given moment my heart will burst out from within.

Peace is~
Fighting to keep my eyes open, when I am not even tired

with every eyelid flutter more soothing than the other.

Peace is~
No matter time or place, the you-ness of you existing comfortably, almost weightlessly

aware, yet, without a worry or care.

Unexpectedly Extinguished

The 1st Advent candle was lit, we sang

and then, it went out.

The 1st candle was re-lit and the second candle was then lit, we sang

and then, they went out.

As if from lit to spent, my mind wound down

unexpectedly extinguished, with those candle flames.

 Without a word, familiar presence

rest well, here with me.

Softly whispered, within my chest

pen to paper;

Life in a candle

to hope is but a dance with a peaceful flame,
rekindling moments
in every wick
joyfully burning my smoldering soul
lovingly flickering

Advent fantasies...

 ^-The process -^

Saturday December 09, 2017

There is a season~

kissed by November rain

withering gracefully

she'll rise again

faith in action

come Spring

Before You Smash That Wall--STOP!

There is a lot of fear amongst us.  Fear of the unknown.  As soon as one raises real concern, immediate reactions well "you could have or should have" and then the well, I was here or there and couldn't have…point the finger back and defend.

Totally missing the point: HEAR what is said NOT defend.  Not everything is an attack, change is not an attack nor should it need defending.  We are human, it happens, nevertheless--our Faith is based on not knowing everything…

If we, (we being every individual including myself), are so unable to hear when we listen and are so quick to stand guard, defend, we will remain in the state this world is in!  Tearing down walls, building bridges is a hopeful vision, however, I hate to be the bearer of bad news; any fool with tools just can't go around smashing walls:

"Is The Wall Really Load-Bearing?

The first step is to determine whether or not the wall is truly load-bearing. Some contractors and construction crews wrongfully assume all of their walls are load-bearing, but this simply isn't true. In a typical residential floor plan, you can expect the walls running closest to the interior are load-bearing, and tearing them down without first replacing this support will result in unsound structural integrity.

So, how do you know for sure if a wall bears some of the building's weight? Rather than using your best judgment, you should refer to the architectural blueprints. This will reveal important information about the structure, including which walls are load-bearing and which ones aren't. Walls that aren't load-bearing are known as partition walls, simply because they separate areas of the home or building. Partition walls are much easier to remove, and you don't have to worry about jeopardizing the structure’s integrity.

In order to safely remove a load-bearing wall, you'll need to construct a new support to take over its job. Do some research to locate a professional architect in your area and give them a call for a quote on designing a wall replacement. Some architects work in conjunction with builders, taking care of all the necessary work.

A professional architect will inspect the structure to determine the best course of action for replacing the load-bearing wall. Something as simple as a column or two strategically constructed inside the home or building might be enough to hold the weight. Other times, however, a full wall might be necessary to replace the load." (courtesy of Cynergy Ergonomics Blog Post by, Mike  http://www.cynergyergonomics.com/blog/safety-precautions-follow-when-removing-load-bearing-wall)

Fear of not knowing everything...a powerful weapon, more powerful than a finger that pulls a trigger or hands that swing a sledge hammer without proper understanding…

Just some #FaithfulFriday thoughts and prayers! 

Under HIS Wing

As I am the same person as 20 years ago and more, so is God the same from beginning to now and forever. However, I have changed and grown and do different things and will, yet it's still me. God does also!

I cannot move and flow and grow within and among the Holy Spirit if I am treating God as if the past God is all God is capable of.

The beauty in this Absolute Grace is I need not do or have to do anything. Because I am in Christ it is not something I need concern myself with, He has adopted me! I am His. I am taken up and living under HIS wing--child being tutored and tended!!!

❤




👼

❤

A New Year's Awakening

A New Year's Awakening:

•  I really found our Sunday (01/10/16) speaker quite enlightening.  I do have the “color blindness” she spoke of, though I value the great depth, contributions and uniqueness of other colors and cultures, I had no idea of the over all umbrella - that being upper hand geared toward white male America.  Just a great enlightenment.

• Also, since adding a Spiritual director to my life recently, I find so much new depth in “be(ing) still and know that I am God.”  I have always been a contemplative and prayerful individual and thus, this just helps the Holy Spirit and I move, connect and flow with greater ease.

• I find lately my noticing more and more the lack of the “true self” in a great chunk of today’s society.  Seems all so caught up in we democrats, we republicans, we Christians, we Presbyterians…we this and we that and our traditions and our values.  Yet, many struggle to self identify outside those things, even within those things actually.  Identity found outside rather than within.  Could be why I often find it hard to relate, as well as, a huge lack of interest to relate!  I can generally relate to many who are in tune with their true selves or striving to be and think outside the conventional boxes.

• Additionally, over this past Advent season weaned myself out of the “care taker” or “peer councilor” role and am at a place of discernment.  Broadening myself outside of church a bit, while remaining at the same time—my Spiritual, mental and sobriety needs are met amongst much of the prayerful quiet times I find there and the extracurricular groups, etc.  However, I have steeped, like a tea bag, for a bit over three years and I am being called to “be still” while exploring my Disciple/Apostleship.  

• Being I write, mainly Spirit filled poetry, prose, short essays, and pondering mantras…this may move me into an area where I can reach and engage people of my age or even younger, which is something that the churches struggle to do.

It feels like 2016 is a wilderness walk for me, outside of normal, conventional methods of which I am familiar or accustomed.  This is all a very big change.  I am excited and have no idea what to expect—I am okay with that!  The key "popping" piece right now is in; “be still and know that I am God.”  

I see, feel and have been living still is not idle.  Even when I was physically idle with that awful upper respiratory cold at Christmas, that kept me still yet, not idle!

Tornado of The Soul

essence riveting 
depth of depths
so immense
aesthetically pleasing
expansile breath
dropped to my knees 
intoxicating

only known with thee
seen not seemingly
your presence enticing 
silence, softly spoken
alone, comfortably accompanied 

keyed to the lock
prayerfully 
lovingly tucked in 
abiding within the tender eye...

dust engulfed
onlookers, passersby
profess: 
head in the clouds
foolishness
loss of reality...

     tornado of the soul

BuilD UP; words

If you ever wondered, I do have one of those creepy memories. (words to images, very precise, triggered by key things sending me rifling through what I call the file cabinet in my head for the pic which tells the 'story')
I also, have a tendency okay more automatic habit of jotting during worship. It's part of worship for me.
I also have a habit of saving & logging things, though not at all to a pack-rat degree or style. For future draw-upon; "oh wait, I know, hold on!" So, yawn--enough about me!

Perhaps it is the Pope's arrival and how I admire much of what he says and how he is trying best a Pope can, I suppose, to be as common as the most common of folk. Also taking a lot of flack for not wearing red shoes, (and who would, that is so been to Oz done that), and not being carted about in the pimp mobile, oops, Pope mobile wink emoticon That brought my thoughts to 08/09/15. I saw outside the Strathallen that morning a Dalai Lama look a like and a few of his peeps and shared a warm hello kinda hoping he would cross the street and join us, then thinking should I have asked?

The second pic was jotted as John preached, "Power of Words."
I admit my handwriting is much to be admired though should be legible. (and yes, I pride myself in admitting, I am a piss-poor speller!) I have taken a few hits this Summer and was feeling a bit angry but that turned around during this service:

Use words that BUILD UP
That IS a job we have regardless of the outcome...

Someday

My bad; *you're*

Someday

hand held
hand to hold

individuality and togetherness

shared time and space
comfortable silence

genuine hug, shoulder to rest upon,
when head gets loud
and the world becomes overwhelming

without complication and suffocation

#thelastshallbefirst
A freehugbot will do.

Never Ceasing

Love and Live It

Everyday

It may 'tone down'

Periodically

However

Never  ceasing...

How Great Thou Art (Throw Back)

For any who disbelieve,
the Lord God does indeed walk with me.

I see Thee
I hear Thee
I feel Thee

and

Thou doth know me inside and out.
On any given day Thou shows Thy face
in many deeds, words and others,
divinely.

Mysterious as it may be,
I KNOW it is Thee,
as I humbly acknowledge
Your presence day to day,
I joyfully give you thanks and praise!

How Great Thou Art...

City Break

Quiet, clear, coffee, moon and stars
Trickling water in the background
Engaging thoughts of pure wholeness
Every fiber of being
Taken in
Listening ...