City Break

Quiet, clear, coffee, moon and stars
Trickling water in the background
Engaging thoughts of pure wholeness
Every fiber of being
Taken in
Listening ...

The Forty Years

Recall as a small child thinking life was one big board game.
Everyone and everything in the world strategically placed
against me ...

Recall as well, many questions about God, Heaven, Death and Spirits.
Even though a small child, I felt I got the just of it
found it comforting and okay
even though some things explained were a little creepy.

Go ahead say I'm just a cub, still wet behind the ears,
what could I possibly know about life in Forty and a half years ...

Well, my friends, in the dozen or more should've been deads,
how the hell did I walk away from thats,
suicide attempts,
what did I do to deserve this
skin of my teeth
to safety's

during most of which faith pushed to broken
flipped God off and cursed His name
to the point of saying in vain is quite an understatement ...

Wasn't until twenty-nine and a half I heard it loud and clear;
I left you?

Go ahead "vet me" I tell you true;

He had enough, my not picking up what He's putting down
even during the bullshit.

Took me out,
could barely stand,
unsure of my own name, for almost 14 days.
Going from 2003 to 2013 in my mind, unsure which was which ...

In time out now, knowing fully time is running out,
I have been given a decade to decide ...
Live or Die!

Moral of the story;

I turned forty last August.
Fifty pounds lighter.
Eating healthy and exercising.
Not a drop to drink since 08-31-13.
More stable and mentally sound than I HAVE EVER BEEN.
Happy, whole and ME

All because God
NEVER LEFT ME ...
Ever,
for I truly am His!!!

Still Breath

Who knows the
Who
What
When
Where
Why
and how?
Only God does.

There are
Ups
Downs
Good days
Bad days
In betweens
Still breath in all of it
even at times when pain supersedes.

Through the thick and thin
it is He I call on for grace and strength through all of it.

Close knit circle of friends
in addition
for I am richly blessed and full...

Thanks be to God for the gift of all...