*wink*

*wink*

no more masking

said one hundred twenty three times, easily,

randomly pulling this number out of my ass,

like most things done

and or said

in my closing in on forty six years here;

no longer having to hide

I'm a bit mentally behind,

second guessing

what is meant by a lot of things,

afraid to inquire,

behind closed doors

googling simple things,

often more confused and scared

than anyone could fathom;

hell, if I said it out loud

you'd laugh—I'm so funny like that...

Popeye had his spinach

I chose 'liquid courage',

seat of my pants and ass-backward

could care less

like Pigpen's cloud of dust

high functioning drunk,

add in mental illnesses and what do you get?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 and the Oscar goes to--

Miss Albee

AKA one hot fricken' mess...

SN: with a “killer smile” & really great hair! 

*wink*

to the untrained eye

just trying to find my way,

“What Color Is Your Parachute?”,

yeah, I had a friend gift me this is the early 1990's...

hitting my knees-literally-in 2007

screaming, what I now know to be a lament,

followed by a bureaucratic “fall from Grace” ~

tripped, without missing a step,

into the arms of God-literally-

sober, closing in on six years,

and vice free...

here's to closing in on 46 more years here

*wink*

days till 46

246

I always arrive early for anything and everything, just to set and "get my bearings" so to speak.  Church is a place of respite; home away from home.  One of my favorite (meditative, soothing) practices I have whenever I am at Church is to randomly open the hymnal.  In this practice my most "go to" style of reading is Lectio Divina.

This particular hymn pops for me often, perhaps it is because we sing the last stanza almost weekly in church.  Regardless, I randomly opened to 246 the Brian Wren "Christ Is Alive!" yesterday morning.  As I sat solo in the Sanctuary with this for a good while and as the hand bell choir began to practice, the one line that I felt over and over--felt is:  "...Love, drowned in death, shall never die."

Psalm 136 New Living Translation (NLT)

Psalm 136

¹ Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!
His faithful love endures forever.
² Give thanks to the God of gods.
His faithful love endures forever.
³ Give thanks to the Lord of lords.
His faithful love endures forever.

⁴ Give thanks to him who alone does mighty miracles.
His faithful love endures forever.
⁵ Give thanks to him who made the heavens so skillfully.
His faithful love endures forever.
⁶ Give thanks to him who placed the earth among the waters.
His faithful love endures forever.
⁷ Give thanks to him who made the heavenly lights—
His faithful love endures forever.
⁸ the sun to rule the day,
His faithful love endures forever.
⁹ and the moon and stars to rule the night.
His faithful love endures forever.

¹⁰ Give thanks to him who killed the firstborn of Egypt.
His faithful love endures forever.
¹¹ He brought Israel out of Egypt.
His faithful love endures forever.
¹² He acted with a strong hand and powerful arm.
His faithful love endures forever.
¹³ Give thanks to him who parted the Red Sea.^[a]
His faithful love endures forever.
¹⁴ He led Israel safely through,
His faithful love endures forever.
¹⁵ but he hurled Pharaoh and his army into the Red Sea.
His faithful love endures forever.
¹⁶ Give thanks to him who led his people through the wilderness.
His faithful love endures forever.

¹⁷ Give thanks to him who struck down mighty kings.
His faithful love endures forever.
¹⁸ He killed powerful kings—
His faithful love endures forever.
¹⁹ Sihon king of the Amorites,
His faithful love endures forever.
²⁰ and Og king of Bashan.
His faithful love endures forever.
²¹ God gave the land of these kings as an inheritance—
His faithful love endures forever.
²² a special possession to his servant Israel.
His faithful love endures forever.

²³ He remembered us in our weakness.
His faithful love endures forever.
²⁴ He saved us from our enemies.
His faithful love endures forever.
²⁵ He gives food to every living thing.
His faithful love endures forever.
²⁶ Give thanks to the God of heaven.

"Love...shall never die"

Glory To God Hymnal