Weekend "Mantra"

This is what I have chewed on for the week:

"For what will it profit [them] to gain the whole world & forfeit [their] life?"

I invite you to gnaw, on this bit, with me...

 — feeling good, how are YOU feeling?

                                                                 My weekend "Mantra"

Your path is not mine to walk
nor is my path yours to walk.

When I catch myself being judgmental [yep! the "J" word] I bring my focus back around to the above. I then try spending contemplative time with:
- How and/or does this affect MY path

There are positive effects to opposite walkers and there are negative effects to opposite walkers--We can only maintain, without shame, our own paths. My weekend "mantra" so to speak wink emoticon

Rock Bottom

So, you're at rock bottom
you don't say,
I've rented a room there
many times in my day.

You're scared and alone
already
battered and bruised
cannot believe
more being thrown at you.
Refuse to say;
"it could be worse"
looking over your shoulder
makes for more of a curse.

Do I pick up the phone?
Feel it won't matter,
won't matter at all,
sad and depressed,
no one likes that.
Feel it would just be being a bother,
not even sure what to say...

You'll suffer through instead,
head in your hands
crying
shaking
even cold
forgotten all that you know.
Normally can fake it
till you can make it
yeah,
not one of those times, huh.

Been there.
Done that.

I am not going to lie to you
It really does suck,
going to seem like forever
no matter what one says
it will not be enough.
Like you are now made of stone
nothing can get through.

This is a time
when all I can do for you
is have the faith you lack.
Won't go too far
standing ready to have your back--

Knowing:
you are a fighter
damn strong
BELIEVER
you've seen many dark days
dusted off, stood-up.

The clock now stopped...
It is a bitch of a climb
slow 'n steady
don't look down,
God's got you
when you reach the top
my hand will be ready!




For those we wait and pray on.
MAA-S LLAH ;)

Gangsta--Not

Brand fuckin' new
straight up outta the box
never felt like this
I'm not bullshitting
couldn't even if I wanted to
you'd see right through...

Tuned in
hearing what's unsaid
deciphering
weirdo quirks
twitches and twirks
I've spent years
masking
for societal reasons...

Just doing what you do
V.I.P.
I wouldn't have it any other way

loving it...


*pretty gangsta-thug huh, lol

Happy Ash Wednesday

There is evil in God's house
seemingly at every channel turn
seen numbingly
subtly
evil is evil because it is very convincing

I am just like you
no better
no worse
God fearing
God loving
full of sin
whole heartedly repenting
repeatedly
saved
through Christ

day by day
praying

Lord, deliver me from evil
I'm tired of all the bullshit
I'm tired of all the lies
I am totally unsure
unto which whom I can confide

I deliver to Your presence
my heart,
wash it clean
so I may start new again

open my eyes so I may see
signs of truth
of You

everywhere
in every way
You shall humbly utilize me

Amen.

*We Are Who We Are, by Little Mix in my little ears!

I AM f*****g weird!

I AM f*****g weird.  And I love my little weirdo ass.

I'm not very traditional by today's standards.   I AM socially awkward.   I AM kinda creepy, though a harmless creepy. I AM often misunderstood, with good reasons; what one heard or read is indeed messed-up, however, like a word with two meanings; that's SO not the meaning I meant. 

I grow so tired of social networking sites...due to lack of authenticity.  Don't get me wrong I struggle, superficial is pretty deep for me though I do strive for one on one genuine sharing.

I really love this time of year.  Not based on fond childhood memories or wishful thinking.  Just so wonderful the whole Thanksgiving-which I spent comfortably alone yet, not feeling at all alone due to overwhelming gratitude and presence.

Now Advent has begun, I feel so PJ's cozy everywhere I am.  It's a time to die all over again and welcome The Christ born anew, within...

If you could see the visions and images in my head these feelings and times create I am fairly certain it would warm your heart like a homemade mug of hot cocoa with little marshmallows.  While your soul tucked in, all comfy, with your favorite blanket.

May you all find and embrace your "weird."  Forget what is societal.  Prepare your heart by being true to it.

Advent blessings...

Deprive vs. Sacrifice...settle down

Walking fine lines
Deprive
vs.
Sacrifice

I believe these two words get confused
as well as,
a raw deal at times.

Basic definitions:
Deprive-  prevent (a person or place) from having or using something.
Sacrifice-  an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy.

For myself the thought of either word,
at one time,
meant the same thing:
NO.  NO.

Even being of deep faith
NO.  NO.
brought forth feelings of:
punishment
falsity
exclusion
not fair.

Why not!?

But--this isn't a bad thing!

Okay. It's not good for me, however

everyone else is and it's okay!?.

It wasn't until the Holy Spirit moved me to seek and let go
I began to
understand
comprehend
settle down.

There are things that are not beneficial for us,
with good reason.
Also things that would be wonderful in the here and now,
of course.
Perhaps far more beneficial in another time, place and space.

For me, God's promises and my own living it
transforms the "sacrificing/depriving."

Not a worth it--a loving it
on earth
as it is in heaven!



"Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit."
Ecclesiastes 7:8

Take Me Out

A recent unfiltered pop-fly:

"I only go to bat
when the pitcher won't quit throwing--
dammit, I prefer the peanuts and cracker jacks."

Back in the day
I didn't give a damn.
I went straight to the mound,
rocking one hell of a fast ball
straight to the plate
with a slight knuckle curve and just enough spin
it looked so 'sweet-spot'
one could hardly refrain from swinging.

As they pulled themselves up, dusted off
with a mixed look of shock, anger and dismay
often following.

I'd grin,
momentarily pleased,
as the ump hollered
"take your base!"

I had no issue walking anyone
"just in case"
caring not about the aftermath's

I AM, thanks be to God,
my own proof
one can dig deep,
repent,
change
and be changed...


"And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you..."  Luke 11:9

Right There

The eyes may be the windows to the soul

don't get me wrong,

I agree

however you want to feel it



Tangible.



What you long for

search for

here

there

everywhere

all the right wrong places



Breastplate.



It exudes

illumines

warmth so grand

you can be thousands of miles

physically away

yet that sucker

is

right there--



Divinity.




*Team by Lorde  in the ears during this "composition."

Won't You Join Me???

What are we called to do?

A question we ask ourselves.

A question we ask each other.

A question we impose upon one another.



I have run the gamut

while chasing my tail

far more years than I care to admit over-thinking this.

Until,

one day during the second service I attend

there was a tap on my right shoulder,

no one there.

To be repeated accompanied by a sweet, matter of fact

whisper;

"You are not here for you.  You are here for Me."



Though this type of Divine encounter is not a brand new happening

it did however radically alter the "called to do" for me.

From this Blessed experience was born:

If Jesus himself were standing 

right here

right now

instead of me--

How would He proceed???



The simplicity of this reality was dumbfounding--

With His ears.



This is my story

and

I am not only sticking to it ;)

additionally

I am doing my damnedest to live it.



Won't you join me...

Wednesday Thoughts and Prayers

Environment [negative or positive]

may impact parts of ourselves

becoming a product of it

is however

a choice...

Wednesday thoughts and prayers!