Spiritual Obesity

Obesity has made all kinds of headlines whether they are public or private.  However, the obesity I am talking about is--Spiritual Obesity.


Weighed down, hard to move about without some discomfort - struggles only the one actually living Spiritually obese truly feels.


I had been feeling so Spiritually obese recently that I just kept in prayer...contemplative prayer:

Among the things I realised is it was my 'diet'!  My tastes have continued to change, more and more toward healthier choices.  Those whom walk unsavory paths leave a long after bitter taste.  Those I take with a grain of salt are well, too salty and 'water weight.'  
I guess I am seeing where a lot of my 'empty calories' come from.

I continued changing my 'diet' and praying.  Among the questions that came to me was:

"Which bread shall you eat of?"
There are a lot more pages filled and post-it notes than I have shared here though, when I take my place at the table of life here everyday, I will silently chew on the bread of Life as I ponder the 'menu' options...

I will share, I am 'exercising' in addition to thinking about what I ingest!
(Let me not forget the 'intolerance's and allergies' that don't set well)





"Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit..."

CHRISTmas Everyday

Christmas Everyday                              

                   

People fear love,
people don't fear sex as much,
people fear, love.
Especially God's Love
manifested humanly.

     Christ the Flow

Moving us into communities of God's Love;

stirs up heart and soulful things
not groin and loin--
tingling from head to feet
in this place
filled with You.

It is about Love:

Human
Transient
Temporary

     Christ the Bridge                                                          

Spiritual
Everlasting
Permanent


     Christ the Messiah

Keeping us close;

sharing on another level,
quiet and service and gratitude--
purest of pure, truest of true,
love,

God's Love, Christmas everyday.

#TechDownTuesday

I don't know if any pay mind to my, most often in Advent and Lent, "Try something new."
I am going to try something old--no, I am not trying to bring my hair color back hahahha

I am implementing a ‪#‎TechDownTuesday‬ for myself.
Old school. Nothing outside of phone usage, technology wise, old school phone usage; Dial and Talk! (leave it home)

Use of paper and pen, use of books vs internet, limiting the TV and go outside and "play." I feel as I get older I am realising (yes, always the UK 's' it isn't a misspell) that I allowed mainstream society to side track me.

As a child, and not having anything remotely close to a "Cleaver" household, I still was able to focus above and connect so deeply with God and God's creations--including myself!! I had a flash this morning of many actual instances, hence my; HEY! I have free will! smile emoticon

I am starting with Tuesday being I partake in the 9:15 am 30 minute'ish morning prayer at church--I can say for me, that is so elemental.‪#‎asheepsruleofthumb‬ if you will wink emoticon

MY CALL

Discomfort
Unnerve
Rattle


Shame?


Jump back
Ten feet for every square inch
shared
Pointing fingers
Deer in the headlights
Projecting blame


Scared?


Pure as can be
Want of nothing
Tangible
On earth as it is in Heaven


Misconstrued
Misconceptions
Conceptual Overload--


Busting at the seams, overflowing
Consuming
God's love
manifesting--


Abnormality!

Not Really All That Prophetic

Until I realised what seems meant by the words I heard; (see "Won't You Join Me")

"You are not here for you. You are here for Me." 

I still struggled with the state(S) of transient. (and will again!)

* I am not claiming to fully understand!
Though, I am here for God's purpose--Christ's work.

* I am deeply Spiritual and look forward to all that is and is to come from there.

* I am not a sexual being. 

* I am using/maintaining the "vehicle" given to me as Christ's hands and feet and everything in between in the best ways I know how.

* I am provided for and guided in ways that are far from just material.

* I am a believer. 

Christ came.  Christ died.  Christ rose.

* I am here to absorb what Christ needs me to. I am here to witness and share and testify. 
Not to fix, get side tracked or judge.

* I am here for You--
My life is healthy, happy and rich.  

 * I am HIS!!!  — feeling connected. 

Anyone who is in Christ is a new creation.

New Life is ours, even beginning in the 'here' just allow it.

"Just settle in"

Amen.

Keeping It Real

There will be times in our life,

Someone we knows life,

Or someone of someone we knows life-

Where people who are supposed to:

Serve,
Protect,
Guide,
Nurture,
Love..
Fail greatly, rather,

Harm, exploit, act maliciously, even selfishly...

As disheartening, disappointing or downright devastating as it may feel;

Hands tied...

"You must decide which ties to make and which to break" -David Reagan

— feeling Keeping It Real.

God's Greatest Gift

One of God's greatest gifts--

FRIENDSHIP.

Plain and simple, pure and true.


All types of friendships;

Colleagues, associates, neighbors and peeps...

Acquaintances, confidants, reflective and sweet...


New friendships and age old friendships--

Sometimes overlooked, taken for granted...


Plain and simple, pure and true.

FRIENDSHIP--

One of God's greatest gifts.


Thanks and Praise...

                                                                    Perfectly Imperfect

Waste Management

Hypocritical nonsense, we're all exposed to it
predominantly seen around election times
let us not down play the day-to-day
shake your head
can't even believe people missed that!

One thing I will pimp with five stars
with regard to those I grew up with
my life subjected to:

Narcissistic reality.
Blatant lies.
Twist it this way and that.
Two-step around every question.
Smoke and mirror
illusive distractions.

The break the glass
in case of a
close to being exposed
emergency pull--

bore two little scapegoats...

you know the saying; "You can't bullshit a bullshitter"


A better saying would be;

"You can't bullshit those who've waded in and trained in waste management!"

                                          *This is not my image, it is a downloaded image*

Untitled

So much in the world, our own lives, each others lives...

Who could possibly be left unscathed? At least to some degree??

Listening and doing what one can within arms reach is very beneficial, no doubt.

New life comes from each wound bandaged, scabs do not always leave scars--amusing tales to tell or ones we keep to ourselves...

Either way at the end of the day who could possible be left unscathed???

Someday

My bad; *you're*

Someday

hand held
hand to hold

individuality and togetherness

shared time and space
comfortable silence

genuine hug, shoulder to rest upon,
when head gets loud
and the world becomes overwhelming

without complication and suffocation

#thelastshallbefirst
A freehugbot will do.

May Is Mental Health Awareness Month

Shutter Release

Looking through the lens
Without a worry or care


Mesmerizing


Hypnotic


Caught timelessly

Beauties reality

Seemingly so transparent

Until

Looking through the lens
Shutter release...

Thursday's Chew-Bit

One of the most attractive things about living simply, modestly and minimally is being uncomplicated.

Anyone who has known me in past lives to knowing me presently I am confident could attest that minimal comfort is how I thrive and grow and think and behave at my best.  I am not just talking material minimal comfort either; Spiritually and mentally and physically.

My Achilles heel, over-thinking, complicating my being creating things.

So hyperaware to the viscous circle of complication seen nearly everywhere, self included, often out of my mouth or in my head; "I/some folks waste so much time trying to complicate things."  It is almost as if it is easier to create things anxiously than to be at peace rationally.

A world of want what we want when we want it--more and more, faster and faster...

Creating things = convenient
              vs.
Being things = inconvenient

Lacking Fancy

For all I craved, even unbeknownst

you, Lord, have fulfilled and continue to pour over me more than I deserve

gratefully and thankfully and humbly I receive joyfully

You, indeed, hear all spoken and unspoken;


Read my heart always and keep me from selfish ways...

I want nothing more than to live in You

and You in me, always!


Welcoming Your will on earth as it is in heaven

always and everlasting...


Keep watch as I sleep tight

over not only myself but those I love

and those whom are lost...

In Christ's name I pray, always!

Amen.

Continuing w/ Weekend Mantras

I have felt exhausted the last several days, yet still pondering a few things...



On Tuesday, the 24th, I felt moved to "try something":

Today I will be attempting to mindfully focus on the negatives...
Journaling my feelings, thoughts, etc and photos (where applicable).
I feel this may benefit my Lenten journey in many multilayered ways!

Wednesday, the 25th:

I will continue this practice [attempting to mindfully focus on the negatives] for a bit--I must confess it was an extremely positive day yesterday. From seeing a good friend, gathering some connecting info for another, text 'banter' with a few and being kindly noticed, greeted and updated by a prior RAIHN guest and their amazing happenings...never-the-less, one thing I did notice in trying to focus toward the not so goods was a feeling of unnatural for me. 
I found it easier to look to find fault with myself than anywhere or anyone else... interesting!

Later that evening attending the "Living Waters Wednesday" service and getting so lost in the lightness I felt.  So calm, peaceful; sax, guitar and piano singing hymns--gave me tingles up my spine and head.  So just one with the Holy Spirit that the trance type feelings I often experience were amplified to the point of it was just God and I there.  

It was/is very telling to me that I am beyond trying to focus unnaturally.  

Not to say I don't see or feel negatives ever, or am never negative, rather a noticing I did find a fault within myself...a positive fault...GROWTH!

The popping for me all week, from our Thursday noon group Lenten readings:

-After...disciples remembered...they believed...  taken from John 2:22
-...did not understand...at first...then they remembered...  taken from John 12:16

So, my brief "left with"

Twenty-twenty hindsight can be the most wonderful "Blessons"  Amen!

Gnawing and Flow Charting

Gnawing and Flow Charting

AKA:  Weekend Mantra...

Q.  "How can a [young] person stay on the path of purity?  By living according to your word."  Psalm 119:9

"Then a voice came from heaven, 'I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.'"  John 12:28 -->  "This voice has come for YOUR SAKE, not mine."  John 12:30 -->

"Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place."  Psalm 51:6  -->

"Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."  Psalm 51:12  --->

"I will put my law in their mind and write it on their hearts."  Jeremiah 31:33 --->



A.   "I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word."  Psalm 119:16

"Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him"  Hebrews 5:8-9


My personal "left with" is simply put:

Peace and love are pure or purity.
I prayed for restoration--wanting to live according to the word;
obedience is a "delight in!"

Love the Concept!

Let me start by saying:

I follow Spiritual Truths on Twitter and on Facebook; "Leon Brown," I wouldn't do so if I didn't like the quotes, concepts, etc.  If nothing resonated or inspired me, I wouldn't bother.




Love the concept!

For it really isn't about the world's second chance--it is about God's continuing grace; accepting & 

repenting...focusing above and all else secondary. Allowing His will to be done on earth as it is in 

heaven. Then you will be changed (constantly) hence, seeing change(s).

Week Three of Mantra'ing!

Chew-bit for this week:
"so must the Son of Man be lifted up" --John 3:14

"By grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast." --Ephesians 2:8

Q: What does this speak to me in the right here, right now; present day Lenten journey?
     What pops out? (a song, movie, experience, etc.)
     What am I left with regarding the above two quotes?

I am feeling an obstructed flow.

This is due to my reliance on outside or "earthly sources" that have, for the most part, helped enhance my ability to feel lifted by the Son of Man and connected to the natural Trinitarian flow.  Not to say these are unnecessary, by no means--rather secondary!

Songs:  The Stone by Jars of Clay, When You Say Nothing At All by Alison Krauss and Safe and Sound by Capital Cities

When the Trinity; God, Son & Holy Ghost are neglected to be placed first and foremost, above all else, things tend to get messy.
Messy:  obstructed natural flow and order, short circuited feelings like sparks from a downed power line.

The "power line" must be repaired to restore order for the very reasons an actual "power line" must be repaired in that condition.

Left with:

"Can I convince you to come any closer?!?"

Get directly closer to Christ and the Father; use the front door if you will, lol -- get caught up in the Holy Spirit blowing through me!!

Dark Horse by Katy Perry just popped in!

Blessed weekend thoughts, prayers and breezes...

"Mantra" For this Weekend

                                                              Weekend "mantra"

"It is not easy to stand up against your constituents or your friends or colleagues or your community 

and take a tough stand for something you believe is right. Because you always want to keep working 

and live to fight another battle and it might cost you..." -Caroline Kennedy

"I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither 

angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow--not even the powers of 

hell can separate us from God's love."   - Romans 8:38-39

Stand-up for what you believe, even if it means you are standing "alone!"

Lenten Thoughts and Ponderings

The bit I am chomping on at this point is;

"Zeal for your house will consume me"  John 2:17

Last Lenten journey I went "Inwardly Turning" which is, of course, a post here in my blogspot.

Part of my Spiritual and Church life is a Thursday noon discussion group.  The texts and readings vary monthly.  I really enjoy that as well as, for the most part, it is a large part of any Spiritual and intellectual dialog for me.  This weeks reading is John 2: 13-22, where my self question is:
What does this one passage speak to you personally, today, about your Lenten journey?

My head works like a really messed up flow chart of images created by words, actions, relating cartoons, movies and music--creating articulation issues for me, jus' so ya know!

This year, I have gone by another way of trying to incorporate others.  Or Outwardly Turning, perhaps!  For some reason this is the continual popper for me; "Zeal for your house will consume me."  It just keeps resonating to good, bad and indifferent situations and incorporative ventures and efforts.  To the point that I can almost empathize via Jesus' emotions, discontent and passion on an actual real level.  It really doesn't seem to be working for me!

To some degree this almost feels as though the most valuable and hardest to swallow tid-bit here on earth is "it really doesn't matter" like the destruction of the temple--so what it has been under construction forty-six years, and in three days I will raise it, however, loopholed or mattering--not what was thought mattered and or expected...

As well as, like the disciples, after they remembered and believed.

My "answer" to my self question/reflections is another question:  Or is it working for/on me?

Why isn't my "Outwardly Turning" working or indeed is it??!!

                                                                   

Weekend "Mantra"

This is what I have chewed on for the week:

"For what will it profit [them] to gain the whole world & forfeit [their] life?"

I invite you to gnaw, on this bit, with me...

 — feeling good, how are YOU feeling?

                                                                 My weekend "Mantra"

Your path is not mine to walk
nor is my path yours to walk.

When I catch myself being judgmental [yep! the "J" word] I bring my focus back around to the above. I then try spending contemplative time with:
- How and/or does this affect MY path

There are positive effects to opposite walkers and there are negative effects to opposite walkers--We can only maintain, without shame, our own paths. My weekend "mantra" so to speak wink emoticon

Rock Bottom

So, you're at rock bottom
you don't say,
I've rented a room there
many times in my day.

You're scared and alone
already
battered and bruised
cannot believe
more being thrown at you.
Refuse to say;
"it could be worse"
looking over your shoulder
makes for more of a curse.

Do I pick up the phone?
Feel it won't matter,
won't matter at all,
sad and depressed,
no one likes that.
Feel it would just be being a bother,
not even sure what to say...

You'll suffer through instead,
head in your hands
crying
shaking
even cold
forgotten all that you know.
Normally can fake it
till you can make it
yeah,
not one of those times, huh.

Been there.
Done that.

I am not going to lie to you
It really does suck,
going to seem like forever
no matter what one says
it will not be enough.
Like you are now made of stone
nothing can get through.

This is a time
when all I can do for you
is have the faith you lack.
Won't go too far
standing ready to have your back--

Knowing:
you are a fighter
damn strong
BELIEVER
you've seen many dark days
dusted off, stood-up.

The clock now stopped...
It is a bitch of a climb
slow 'n steady
don't look down,
God's got you
when you reach the top
my hand will be ready!




For those we wait and pray on.
MAA-S LLAH ;)

Gangsta--Not

Brand fuckin' new
straight up outta the box
never felt like this
I'm not bullshitting
couldn't even if I wanted to
you'd see right through...

Tuned in
hearing what's unsaid
deciphering
weirdo quirks
twitches and twirks
I've spent years
masking
for societal reasons...

Just doing what you do
V.I.P.
I wouldn't have it any other way

loving it...


*pretty gangsta-thug huh, lol

Happy Ash Wednesday

There is evil in God's house
seemingly at every channel turn
seen numbingly
subtly
evil is evil because it is very convincing

I am just like you
no better
no worse
God fearing
God loving
full of sin
whole heartedly repenting
repeatedly
saved
through Christ

day by day
praying

Lord, deliver me from evil
I'm tired of all the bullshit
I'm tired of all the lies
I am totally unsure
unto which whom I can confide

I deliver to Your presence
my heart,
wash it clean
so I may start new again

open my eyes so I may see
signs of truth
of You

everywhere
in every way
You shall humbly utilize me

Amen.

*We Are Who We Are, by Little Mix in my little ears!

I AM f*****g weird!

I AM f*****g weird.  And I love my little weirdo ass.

I'm not very traditional by today's standards.   I AM socially awkward.   I AM kinda creepy, though a harmless creepy. I AM often misunderstood, with good reasons; what one heard or read is indeed messed-up, however, like a word with two meanings; that's SO not the meaning I meant. 

I grow so tired of social networking sites...due to lack of authenticity.  Don't get me wrong I struggle, superficial is pretty deep for me though I do strive for one on one genuine sharing.

I really love this time of year.  Not based on fond childhood memories or wishful thinking.  Just so wonderful the whole Thanksgiving-which I spent comfortably alone yet, not feeling at all alone due to overwhelming gratitude and presence.

Now Advent has begun, I feel so PJ's cozy everywhere I am.  It's a time to die all over again and welcome The Christ born anew, within...

If you could see the visions and images in my head these feelings and times create I am fairly certain it would warm your heart like a homemade mug of hot cocoa with little marshmallows.  While your soul tucked in, all comfy, with your favorite blanket.

May you all find and embrace your "weird."  Forget what is societal.  Prepare your heart by being true to it.

Advent blessings...

Deprive vs. Sacrifice...settle down

Walking fine lines
Deprive
vs.
Sacrifice

I believe these two words get confused
as well as,
a raw deal at times.

Basic definitions:
Deprive-  prevent (a person or place) from having or using something.
Sacrifice-  an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy.

For myself the thought of either word,
at one time,
meant the same thing:
NO.  NO.

Even being of deep faith
NO.  NO.
brought forth feelings of:
punishment
falsity
exclusion
not fair.

Why not!?

But--this isn't a bad thing!

Okay. It's not good for me, however

everyone else is and it's okay!?.

It wasn't until the Holy Spirit moved me to seek and let go
I began to
understand
comprehend
settle down.

There are things that are not beneficial for us,
with good reason.
Also things that would be wonderful in the here and now,
of course.
Perhaps far more beneficial in another time, place and space.

For me, God's promises and my own living it
transforms the "sacrificing/depriving."

Not a worth it--a loving it
on earth
as it is in heaven!



"Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit."
Ecclesiastes 7:8

Take Me Out

A recent unfiltered pop-fly:

"I only go to bat
when the pitcher won't quit throwing--
dammit, I prefer the peanuts and cracker jacks."

Back in the day
I didn't give a damn.
I went straight to the mound,
rocking one hell of a fast ball
straight to the plate
with a slight knuckle curve and just enough spin
it looked so 'sweet-spot'
one could hardly refrain from swinging.

As they pulled themselves up, dusted off
with a mixed look of shock, anger and dismay
often following.

I'd grin,
momentarily pleased,
as the ump hollered
"take your base!"

I had no issue walking anyone
"just in case"
caring not about the aftermath's

I AM, thanks be to God,
my own proof
one can dig deep,
repent,
change
and be changed...


"And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you..."  Luke 11:9

Right There

The eyes may be the windows to the soul

don't get me wrong,

I agree

however you want to feel it



Tangible.



What you long for

search for

here

there

everywhere

all the right wrong places



Breastplate.



It exudes

illumines

warmth so grand

you can be thousands of miles

physically away

yet that sucker

is

right there--



Divinity.




*Team by Lorde  in the ears during this "composition."

Won't You Join Me???

What are we called to do?

A question we ask ourselves.

A question we ask each other.

A question we impose upon one another.



I have run the gamut

while chasing my tail

far more years than I care to admit over-thinking this.

Until,

one day during the second service I attend

there was a tap on my right shoulder,

no one there.

To be repeated accompanied by a sweet, matter of fact

whisper;

"You are not here for you.  You are here for Me."



Though this type of Divine encounter is not a brand new happening

it did however radically alter the "called to do" for me.

From this Blessed experience was born:

If Jesus himself were standing 

right here

right now

instead of me--

How would He proceed???



The simplicity of this reality was dumbfounding--

With His ears.



This is my story

and

I am not only sticking to it ;)

additionally

I am doing my damnedest to live it.



Won't you join me...

Wednesday Thoughts and Prayers

Environment [negative or positive]

may impact parts of ourselves

becoming a product of it

is however

a choice...

Wednesday thoughts and prayers!

Never Ceasing

Love and Live It

Everyday

It may 'tone down'

Periodically

However

Never  ceasing...

Relax--Recoup, Retool, Regroup

You wake me,

won't go away,

until

you get your way.

Grumble-some

my feet hit the floor,

same as days before;

As I caffinate

and vittle-fill your dish,

you, now fast asleep

where I once

comfortably slept! 

:)

#selfishtwit

Thanksgiving

As Thanksgiving approaches, I often find myself in a more contemplative state of mindfulness.  

Much of my own Thanksgiving is the shared by others; blessings, changes, grateful fors, new founds, etc. of which they celebrate and embrace.  It is most refreshing to see and hear others testimonials as well as accomplishments.  In addition to how others live Thanksgiving.  

I continue to look forward to all of yours in addition to those whose paths cross mine day to day...

I am Thankful.

The philosophical Tyger LOL

We all have "stuff" sometimes "tough stuff" enter our lives.

I find when I draw my attention to all else in my life and jaw not about the "tough stuff" & focus on the here and now, wherever I may be that is literally here and now...I'm in peace. I feel God along side in everything, allowing me to stay 'out of the way' as the good blessings unravel the "tough" the way only Christ can...

THE moment I am in is THE moment I am supposed to be in--over and over and over. Stay present. Stay open. Stay aware of blessings when trials arise...
Stay above yet not oblivious!

Random Thoughts

Random thoughts brought on by TV!!

Okay some mom petitions Toys R Us over Breaking Bad action figures.  Seems another example of limited freedoms, it worked.  
If YOU don't like something don't buy it nor allow it in YOUR home...

Sex.  I don't get, never have to be very honest, why that is a pursuit to happiness or unhappiness.  Folks seem very promiscuous even married folks--why?  I am not virginal by any means or shooting for hypocritical. For self, I no longer require or desire that, I was always honest; not the be all end all nor make or break.  Not "normal" for even back in the day--perhaps why 2 outta 3 were not monogamous?  There is so much more, worthy more than to put all stock in the laid basket. 
Oneness and love are not bound by physical acts.  Both can be shared and achieved many, many ways--worth far more than a single act of short term fornication.  The main difference seems simple--Divine vs. Earthly...
So much time it seems people focus on partner, sex, etc.  Perhaps it appears hypocritical being I found part of this at 15 and live what feels so much more happily and free since I recognized this at 29. 

Which brings me to marriage.  Why do some folks take that huge step, only to then mistreat and run around on their spouse?  Why not just leave?  Why marry at all?  Is it now more of a "got ya locked" as opposed to a sacred promise to love, honor, encourage--want only the best for and of one another in all aspects?  It seems this area has always baffled me..seems more lock in vs. freedom. 

Sometimes I just feel so before and beyond these times,
all at the same time...

TMI

I remember when I was just a cub, maybe 4, not in kindergarden yet and my sister was quite an infant.  I used to get scolded because I would wash her hair with bar soap while she was in her little infant tub in the the big tub.  Though I also remember vividly, a few days prior to the Blizzard of '77, seeing my mother in the hospital.  She was in her pink robe from home and I met my sister.  I remember to this day being very upset she was coming home with us!  Now estranged, we were always very close--we had to be.

It was also this age I had a Mickey Mouse watch.  It had a red face, yellow band and Mickey's little feet would move as a second hand.  I spent much time lying on a braided rug in our living room just watching his feet move.  I especially did so when my parents would fight.  I must have still been left handed because my watch, until late elementary school was always on my right hand.  It was when a teacher pointed out if you are right handed (family 'fixed') your watch goes on the left.

At those times watching Mickey's feet I would sometimes go to the phone and dial the operator.  That is when there were operators to 'talk to' and boy did I!  I did get in some trouble when they would call back and my parents would know I called.  Who knows what I was saying but I sure know I wasn't supposed to.  I chuckle now.  My mother always telling us, me especially; "your mouth runs faster than a whippoorwills ass."  My sister and I never knew what the hell she was talking about or even what that meant.  But we used to mock it often.  Also getting scolded for "laughing like a hyena."  We were convinced and I still am, the woman hates happiness and laughter.

I have been told over many years by various Aunts and Uncles about how before my bath I would line my dolls up and say, with stern finger; "and don't you shit your pants."  My sister had a stuffed monkey she carted around at about age 3/4 she called Little Bastard.  It was his name!!  She would get hollered at for saying it.  We later in life laughed our asses off over the irony--calling us little bastards really says you don't know who our daddy's are!  Though no jest we have always wondered if we are half sisters...regardless I would be pissed if she had a good dad!!  You have to have a sense of humor when well just when...

There were so many times at a young age I would try or want to run away.  It was all I could do to learn to soothe myself when needed.  I had imaginary parents not friends, parents.  I would rub my own hair, and talk nice to me.  I became attached to my stuffed animals and really believed they had feelings.  I never wanted to leave one out.  I find sometimes I will see a stuffed toy on the street and almost feel bad for it, like it feels lost and abandoned, yet knowing it does not it is incapable of such.  It is a childhood throwback for if just seconds.

I must be feeling nostalgic.  I suppose this is enough TMI for this day.

Remember if not one thing--you are never alone.  At least that is what I have been told more times than can be counted by various people in and out of life when I was very alone.  You may not be able to believe it initially but when you are feeling nostalgic later you will see!  Grace and Peace.

A Sheep's Rule of Thumb

It's not about WHAT you do...

"But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret.  And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."
Mathew 6:3-4

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus Christ."
Philippians 4:7

1 SOLID YEAR SOBER!

08/31/13 Last drink drunk.

T.G.I.F.

Lasting Happiness

The real reason why we sometimes experience a lack of real, deep lasting happiness in our lives is dependency. We are taught to make our happiness dependent on some event, condition, person, object etc. This is why we keep delaying our happiness until things are just right in our life. We think we will be happy in the future and then wonder why we are not happy now. But life is never just right, and the future never comes – there is only now! And that's why, in order to be happy we must make our happiness a decision and not a dependency. This may seem slightly difficult in the beginning, because we have just spent our life being dependent on acquiring something or someone, or seeing the result we desired, or wanting some pain to go away, before we allow ourselves to be happy-- www.thoughtfortoday.org.uk

Exactly right--
RE: www.thoughtfortoday.org.uk

For myself, it was around 2005 this concept actually set in and made sense.  I spent sooooo much time in my late teens & complete twenties 'not wanting to be alone' (that meant unhappy) therefore, falling into the dependancy trap.  Whether it be relationships, things and or a bottle. 

Real happiness is not found via others, acquisitions or self medication...

T.G.I.F. Amen!

Living it!

"And I set before the sons of the house of the Rechabites pots full or wine, and cups, and I said unto them, Drink ye wine.
But they said, We will drink no wine:  for Jonadab the son of Rechab our father comanded us, saying, Ye shall drink no wine, neither ye, nor your sons forever:
Neither shall ye build a house, nor sow seed, nor plant vineyard, nor have any: but all your days ye shall dwell in tents: that ye may live many days in the land where ye be strangers."
Jeremiah 35:5-7.  Amen.

Sober almost a year now.
Cig-free 5 months now.
Caffine free several days now...

Still eating clean,
working out,
down in fat (not fluff-free hee hee)
up in muscle and endurance.

Physically healthy,
mentally sound,

Spiritually heightened and enlightened...

Transforming and growing every day;
Thanks be to God for it all!

41 and living it ♡♥♡

TBT...

The word of the Lord came to me:  Mortal prophecy against the shepards of Israel: prophecy and say to them--the shepards:  Thus says the Lord God:  Ah you shepards of Israel who have been feeding yourselves!
You eat the fat, you clothe yourselves with the wool, you slaughter the fatlings; but you do not feed the sheep.

Ezekiel 34:1-3

*  There have actually been words heard such as thankfulness for not being a sheep but rather a shepard.  I tell you I'd rather be a sheep for God is our Shepard...

Thus says the Lord God, I am against the shepards; and I will demand my sheep at their hand, and put a stop to their feeding the sheep; no longer will the shepards feed themselves.
I will rescue my sheep from their mouths, so that they may not be food for them.

Ezekiel 34:10

But what as it is written,
"What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the human heart conceived,  what God has prepared for those who love him"--

1 Corinthians 2:9

And we speak of these things in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the spirit, interpreting spiritual things to those who are spiritual.

1 Corinthians 2:13

Love does no wrong to a neighbor;  therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law.

Romans 13:8

*  I bear true witness as a sheep of my Lord God...
GOD guides, provides and protects.  The best most intimate relationship one will ever have!

Hebrew Text

The mountains do not witness to him,
nor do the hills proclaim;
The trees have cherished my words
and the flocks
my works.

For who can proclaim
and who
can bespeak
and who can recount the deeds of the Lord?

Everything has God seen,
everything
has he heard and heeded.

He sent his prophet to anoint me,
Samuel to make me great;
My brothers went out to meet him,
handsome of figure and appearance.

Though they were tall of stature
and handsome by their hair,
the Lord God
chose them not.

But he sent and took me from behind the flock
and anointed me
with holy oil.

And made me leader of his people
and ruler over the people of his covenant.

Simply beautiful!  Psalm 151

Psalm 151

"I was small among my brothers,
and the youngest in my father's house;
I tended my father's sheep.

My hands made a harp;
and my fingers fashioned a lyre.

And who will tell the Lord?
The Lord himself;
it is he who hears.

It was he who sent his messanger
and took me from my father's sheep,
and anointed me with his anointing oil.

My brothers were handsome
and tall,
but the Lord was not pleased with them.

I went out to meet the Philistine,
and he cursed me by his idols.

But I drew his own sword;
I beheaded him,
and took away disgrace from the people
of Israel.

Psalm 151: 1-7

Sunday Shenanigans

Every once in a while I play along with others answering some silly questions to see; what animal you should be or what Brady are you--

"Marcia, Marcia, Marcia."  Lol, talk about dated!

I actually think I recieved and gave my first high-five today and had the audacity to say (in jest); "isn't that a bit dated!?"  I digress...

What Color is Your Aura?

I got pink.

These are indeed words I would use to describe myself.  Especially the balance between Spiritual and material [being] existence.

A 'tap on the shoulder' earlier, so to speak, provides the most accurate wording for help in maintaining that balance; "You are not here for you.  You are here for Me." 

For our real treasures are not to be found here on earth...

TGIF

"One day spent in your house, this beautiful place of worship, beats thousands spent on Greek island beaches.

I'd rather scrub floors in the house of my God than be honored as a guest in the palace of sin.

All sunshine and sovereign is Yahweh, generous in gifts and glory.
He doesn't scrimp with his traveling companions.

It's smooth sailing all the way with Yahweh of the Angel Armies." 

Psalm 84: 10-12
[from,The Message]

I bear true witness, Amen.